22. Do the Rat Thing / Коронованная крыса
Setting: palace garden. A rat scurries from tree to tree and leaps into a hall in the wall.

Prince Wazoo: Oh, say you’ll marry me, my princess.

Jasmine: Look. I’ve already told you! I’m engaged to Aladdin!

Prince Wazoo: *scoffs* Aladdin? Please! That street rat does not deserve a princess!

Jasmine: Sorry! Not interested! (Turns her back)

Prince Wazoo: (Nuzzles Jasmine’s hair) Ahh, your hair. It’s so soft. Soft like a - (The rat from before falls from his hole to in front of the prince) - rat!

Jasmine: Soft like a rat? (Turns to see the rat attacking the prince in panic and gasps)

Prince Wazoo: No. Unhand my nose, foul creature! (Retrieves dagger from his side) Nobody attacks Prince Wazoo!

Aladdin: Hold it, Prince! (Grabs Wazoo’s wrist and gently scoops the rat up into a pot.) In ya go, fella! Sometimes it’s safer outside the palace wall. (lets the rat go safely)

Prince Wazoo: Rats. Uh! Disgusting things! Ohh! I must bathe now. There’s nothing I hate more than rats!

(Prince Wazoo exits as Genie comes out of the lamp behind Aladdin, and Abu scurries onto Aladdin’s shoulder and gives the Prince tongue raspberries behind his back.)

Genie: Abu! Show a little respect! Prince Wazoo can’t help it that he’s snooty and cowardly and OBNOXIOUS AND CRUEL AND… Ahh go ahead and razz him.

(Abu once more gives raspberries, although the Prince is out of sight.)

Jasmine: Why did you let that filthy thing go?

Aladdin: That rat isn’t so different from me and Abu! (Abu protests.) Okay! Okay. He’s not so different from me then. (Abu is satisfied.)

Jasmine: What do you have in common with a rat?

Aladdin: Aah, just forget it. You’re a princess! How could you possibly understand what it’s like to be a street rat?

Jasmine: You think I don’t know anything, huh? Well, I know plenty about the real world, don’t I, Genie?

Genie: (Poofs into trench coat) Sure! You know all about the dark, sleazy underbelly of this seamy city of sin.

(Jasmine gives a frustrated noise.)

Genie: (Laughs, then stops and changes back to normal) Oh. You’re serious. (Jasmine glares at him.) Whoa! If looks could kill!

(Jasmine walks off angrily. Genie salutes and plays dead.)

SCENE CHANGE --- The streets of Agrabah.

(A vendor shines his plates. A thief steals a golden cup on his stand, another thief steals it from him, and so on until the vendor snatches it nonchalantly, without looking up from his plate, from the last thief and puts it back. A hooded observer removers her hood, revealing it to be Jasmine. Iago is in her hood.)

Iago: Okay. You’ve seen the thieves’ quarter. Now can we go back to the palace?

Jasmine: No. Do you know what Aladdin called me? Princess!

Iago: Offend not my delicate ears with such language!

Jasmine: Look. I have to do this. Aladdin and I will be married some day! I have to understand this part of his life! I’m spending the entire day as a street rat if it kills me!

Iago: Which it just might-Oh!

(A thief grabs Iago violently)

Thief: An ugly specimen, but he may be worth a shekel or two.

Jasmine: (Snatches Iago back.) He isn’t worth anything! He’s mine!

Iago: Ah! Would you care to rephrase that?

Thief: Wait. I have seen you before. You are no thief!

Jasmine: (Stutters:) Of course I’m a thief!

Thief: You are a beggar! We don’t like beggars in the thieves’ quarter.

Jasmine: No! I’m a thief, really!

Thief: Oh yeah! Prove it!

Jasmine: You think I can’t?

Thief: You’d better! Or else. (Looms.)

Jasmine: Just watch. (Walks away.)

Iago: This is where we make a break for the palace, right?

Jasmine: No. I look like a street rat; it’s time I act like one.

Thief: (Sneaks up on Jasmine and grabs her shoulder. She gasps.) I’ll be waiting. Beggar! (Laughs)

(Jasmine defiantly walks on.)

Iago: Look. This is crazy. You know that? You don’t know the first thing about stealing. Now. Let me fill you in on some of the finer points.

Jasmine: What finer points? I’ll just take this. (Grabs a mirror from an unsupervised vendor stand.)

Iago: (Annoyed at how easy it was) But - You can’t just - Hey, you know there’s an art to this!

Jasmine: (secretively) I’ll come back later and pay for it.

Iago: (aside) Talk about unclear on the concept.

Fasir: (appears from nowhere and grabs Jasmine’s arm. She gasps.) A word of warning to the young and inexperienced. Those who do wrong may find themselves punished by mysterious forces.

(Jasmine escapes his grasp and retreats. She hears a noise and looks back. Fasir had disappeared!)

Jasmine: Look!

(She and Iago retreat until they feel safer. Jasmine pulls the mirror from her cloak with pride.)

Thief: (Grabs Jasmine from behind a corner. She yelps.) So! So, you are a thief! I am Wadi Yathouin of the thieves’ guild. You have 30 days to obtain a guild permit - a mere 50 dinari. My card. If you are short, we can arrange a payment plan. Good day!

(The thief leaves. Jasmine and Iago look happily upon the thief’s card.)

Iago: Wow, you need a permit for everything these days!

Jasmine: (Looks happily into the mirror) You see? I am a street rat!

Iago: Don’t make me laugh! If you’re a street rat, I’m a frilled lizard.

(Mirror glows blue. Jasmine lets a sound of worry.)

Iago: Uh oh.

(The blue glow surrounds them both, and Jasmine’s cloak falls to the ground. When the glow is gone, a rat appears from under the cloak. The voice reveals it is Jasmine.)

Jasmine: I, I feel so strange! (Examines herself) My hands! My face! My… Tail?

Iago: (as a green frilled lizard) Uh, princess… Do I look different to you?

Jasmine: (gasp) You’re a lizard! (simultaneously) Iago: You’re a rat!

Jasmine: That merchant! He said ‘mysterious forces punish those who did wrong!’

Iago: So why did I get zapped? You’re the one who stole the…

Jasmine and Iago: The mirror!

Jasmine: I said I was a street rat!

Iago: And I said I was a frilled lizard!

Jasmine: We have to tell it to change us back!

Iago: Look!

(Iago points to the mirror, which is shattered on the ground. They go over and look at their reflections in the shards.)

Jasmine: I’m a princess. A princess!

Iago: I’m a parrot! A devilishly good-looking parrot. (The mirror sparks for a moment but stops.) We just got seven years bad luck!

Jasmine: Rats and lizards don’t live that long…

SCENE CHANGE - The Palace garden

(The rat from the beginning digs a hole in the ground next to the wall. Rajah looms over it, and it takes off running. Rajah pursues it.)

Genie: A tiger runs down his prey. (Dressed as a zoologist) Yes, the mighty tiger. With the strength of ten-thousand men. The speed of a plummeting bicep. And jaws so powerful, they can crush an ocean liner. (It is shown that Genie is standing on Rajah’s tail. Rajah runs in place.) It may seem that the fore rodent has nary a chance. Oh, how can this weak and puny fellow survive? Will he not be spared? IS THERE NO HOPE?!! SHALL… (Sees Rajah, who has stopped to give him an annoyed look.) Oh. (Lifts his foot.) How do you supposed that got there?

(Rat scurries back into the hole before Rajah catches it.)

Aladdin: Hehe, That rat’s a little too fast for you, eh Rajah?

(Abu Chatters and scratches Rajah‘s chin friendlily)

Prince Wazoo: (Enters with Sultan) You need a new tiger, your highness. That one doesn’t know a street rat when he smells one.

(Rajah growls angrily.)

Sultan: I was just telling Prince, uh, oh, Wazoo that he should see our marketplace! I’d take him there myself - if I knew where it was…

(Abu whispers something craftily into Rajah’s ear. Rajah grins and growls and sneaks away.)

Prince Wazoo: I should like to pick up a bauble for the princess. Something fabulously decadent and gold perhaps.

Aladdin: Maybe you’d like a new pair of pants too.

Prince Wazoo: And why would I like…? (Rajah rips off a piece of his pants.) I could… hate you.

SCENE CHANGE - The marketplace

Jasmine: Okay. Let’s deal with this calmly.

Iago: Calmly?! I’m a lizard!! Look at this dry, scaly skin!! And what about this?! (referring to the frills around his head) Did I swallow an umbrella or what?!!

Jasmine: Iago! Look!

(She points to Aladdin and Prince Wazoo across the way. Wazoo picks up a gold ornament and throws it conceitedly back at the vendor. Neither Aladdin nor the vendor is amused.)

Prince Wazoo: Oh, please. Too common. (Walks away.)

Vendor: Oh. Well, I never!

(Abu chatters, mocking the prince behind his back.)

Aladdin: You said it, Abu.

Genie: (pops his head out of the lamp when Aladdin almost drops it.) I know what you’re thinking’, Al. He’d look a lot better as a toad, right? (turns his head into a toad-like head)

Aladdin: Sorry, Genie. I promised myself I’d never misuse your power. (pushes Genie back into the lamp)

Prince Wazoo: Oh, Street Rat! (snaps) Fetch my camel. This place bores me.

Genie: (pops his head out briefly) Did you get that promise in writing?

(Abu accidentally drops riches he smuggled into his vest.)

Aladdin: *sigh* Come on Abu. I promised the sultan I’d keep the prince happy.

Jasmine: There’s still hope, Iago. Aladdin will recognize me, and he’ll have Genie turn us back.

Iago: Yeah! That’s worth zero point nothing on the Hope-ometer.

Jasmine: He loves me. He’ll know me no matter what shape I’m in. You’ll see. (scurries away)

Iago: (sees the traffic of beings larger than him and gulps) Oh, boy. (frantically chases Jasmine, getting stepped on and run over repetitively) Whoa! Wait! Nobody stop… Ahhh! Oo! Ah! Look out! Coming through! Whoa! Whoa! Ah! Lemme out! Whoa! Hang on! (gets caught in the wheels of a cart) Oh! Let me off - oof! Hang on - oof! Somebody’s - oof!

(Jasmine makes it to Aladdin, who lifts Wazoo up on his camel. Jasmine pleads at Aladdin’s foot, but all he can hear is squeaks.)

Jasmine: Aladdin! It’s me, Jasmine! A magic mirror turned me into a rat!

Prince Wazoo: (cowardly) Uh! Another rat! Kill it! Kill it! Kill it a lot! Oh, I can’t stand rats!

Aladdin: I’ll handle it, oh brave Wazoo. (nicely scoops Jasmine up in a handkerchief and flings her onto a nearby vendor stand) Come on, Fella. Walk on your own feet.

Jasmine: (Iago appears) He just tossed me aside like a… (watches Aladdin and Wazoo leave) like a rat.

SCENE CHANGE - beneath a vendor stand, where Jasmine and Iago have taken refuge.

Iago: Well? We’re doomed.

Jasmine: No. We can handle this. We’ll just have to go to the palace and summon the Genie ourselves.

Iago: Sure! Go to the palace. We’ll just use the “rats and lizards” entrance.

Jasmine: Let’s go.

(Iago sighs and follows her out.)

Iago: (looks at the traffic again) I am gonna hate this. (runs after Jasmine and once again is trampled repetitively) Oo! Ah! Oo! Watch! Oh! Wait! Wait! Stop! Oww! Oo!

SCENE CHANGE - The palace garden

(Aladdin is setting a table outside for a grand picnic. A rat pushes out a brick from the wall and scurries across the lawn. Rajah chases it back to the hole in the wall and replaces the brick.)

Genie: That rat again, eh? Well I’ll show you how a real hunter… (transforms into a hunter) deals with a rat! (He shoots and laughs maniacally until he realizes he just went overboard.)

(Abu and Rajah peek their heads up from behind a bush nervously. There are holes all over the ground.)

Genie: Well? There I go! I’ve gotten carried away and alienated everyone again.

Aladdin: (approaches them, dressed as a prince) Hey, has anyone seen Jasmine? I thought she might be outside with you guys. But I guess she’s still hiding from that Prince Snootnose.

Sultan: Oh dear. If Jasmine doesn’t show up soon, we’ll have to start Wazoo’s banquet without her!

Aladdin: Don’t worry. She’ll show up when she’s hungry. Even a princess has to eat.

SCENE CHANGE --- The marketplace

(Jasmine is sniffing around.)

Iago: Alright! Dinner break! (Jasmine starts running, and Iago drags behind her, holding her tail.) What do lizards eat anyway?

Jasmine: Bugs, I think.

Iago: *gulp* Terrific. I’m a lizard, I’m starving, and I EAT BUGS! (Instinctively catches a fly with his tongue)

Jasmine: Oh no! All that running, and we’re back at Farouk’s fruit stand! Things look so different from down here! *Sigh* As long as we’re here… (runs up to the fruit stand)

Iago: And no bugs!

(Jasmine climbs a cloth onto the stand and hides behind some fruit. Farouk slices a watermelon open with a very sharp knife and holds the half up. As he advertises, Jasmine sneakily steals an orange.)

Farouk: Fresh fruit here! One bite brings undreamt-of ecstasy! Get them before the bugs do! Finest fruit in all Agrabah! Figs! Figs! The musical fruit! A watermelon a day keeps the doctor away! Fresh fruit! Buy the fruit!

Customer: (an old, loud man) Alright! Alright! I’ll take an orange if it’ll shut you up! (He takes the orange Jasmine is holding onto. When he sees her, she shyly squeaks and waves. He drops the orange frantically and gasps.) Rat!!!

Farouk: (grabs his knife) Whaaat?

(Farouk stabs wildly at Jasmine. A pile of oranges fall on top of Iago , who is waiting at the bottom hoping to catch one. Jasmine jumps off of the cart.)

Jasmine: Iago?! (pulls Iago from the pile of oranges, grabs him just before Farouk stabs the orange where they were, and runs away)

Farouk: Oh yeahh! (slips and falls on his back) Raaat! I HATE rats!

Jasmine: (once safe and alone with Iago, panting) I never knew it could be so hard just to get a little food! Ohh, here we are starving while there’s a feast going on at the palace!

Woman: Dinner, children!

(They look up. The voice came from an upstairs room from the home beside them.)

Jasmine: Wait here. (scurries to the steps) I’ll toss something down to you.

Iago: Remember! No! Bugs!

(Jasmine craftily makes her way up to the window and looks in. A young mother, clearly poor, retrieves two dates and places them on her poor children’s empty plates.)

Woman: Just one date each tonight. We must save the rest for tomorrow.

Jasmine: (sadly to herself) That’s dinner?

(below in the streets, a merchant driving a watermelon cart is racing down the streets

Merchant: Hurry, hurry! These melons should have been at the palace an hour ago!

(The merchant babbles as his cart loses a wheel, and all of the watermelons spill out of the back.)

Iago: (talking to himself, oblivious to the accident) I could have said, if you’re a street rat then I’m the richest parrot in the world! But what do I say? (stupidly) “I’m a frilled lizard!”

(A wheel from the cart rolls towards Iago, who screams and ducks. The wheel bounces over him and rolls to a stop, falling on the ground beside him. He sighs, relieved. Jasmine makes her way down and accidentally falls on top of Iago.)

Jasmine: Sorry.

Iago: So where’s dinner?

Jasmine: There isn’t any… (Iago gives a yell) to speak of.

Iago: Lovely. No insect is safe tonight!

Jasmine: Iago! (sees watermelon merchant) Isn’t that the man who delivers melons to the palace? (scurries to the cart with Iago as the merchant is picking up the melons) Where there’s a melon man, there’s dinner!

(The scene fades to the mother and her two children, plates empty. There is a knock at the door.)

Woman: Who could that be?

(She opens the door and gasps happily to see Jasmine and Iago sitting with a melon at their doorstep. Her children follow.)

Girl: *gasp* It’s the magic holiday rat! She brought us a present from the rodent king!

(Iago slaps his head at this comment. Jasmine scurries away down the steps, and he follows, panting.)

Iago: Slow down! Remember? I don’t have wings anymore!

Jasmine: Come on, Iago. We’ve got a melon cart to catch! (gets back to see the cart driving away) Oh no!

Iago: Forget it. We’ll never catch it now. There’s no hope! Might as well throw in the towel! Cash in our chips!

Jasmine: (sees a man under a sheet held hanging from two wooden poles, held down by a peg. She smiles, grabs Iago, and runs toward it.) We’re not beat yet!

Iago: Would ya quit yankin’ me around like that! You know, lizards have rights too. (Jasmine pulls him onto the sheet and starts nibbling at the rope holding it down.) I - Hey! What are ya doin’? … Oh I seee! You’re gonna use this thing like a sling shot and… (with dread) uh ohhh.

(Jasmine nibbles it down, and they are slung directly into one of the watermelons on the merchant’s cart.)

Iago: Just when I think there are no new kinds of pain, I find one.

SCENE CHANGE - the palace garden. It is dark outside.

(Aladdin, Prince Wazoo, and the sultan are sitting at the table outside, bored. Genie walks over dressed in pink as a housewife with big white hair, speaking in a southern accent.)

Genie: Oh, I declare it’s such a delight to cook for royalty! And, ohhh, Are you going to be pleased! Goat au gratin, hummus on the half shell, and deep fried camel fritters like MOMMA used to make! (Abu tries to open one of the dishes ‘ah ha!’, but Genie shoos him) We’re all fur and impatience, aren’t we now? Oh. Now. If a certain princess would only show up! Oh, my spoons and spices. I’ve forgotten my little weenie o’dourves! Must dash! (returns to the lamp at Aladdin’s side)

Sultan: Dear, I just can’t imagine what’s keeping Jasmine!

Aladdin: Oh, I’m sure she’ll turn up when we least expect her!

Servant: (to Prince Wazoo) Melon ball?

Prince Wazoo: Well, very well.

(Wazoo reaches to take a melon ball, when Jasmine and Iago pop out of it. He shrieks.)

Jasmine: We have to get the lamp, Iago!

(The servant, startled, tosses the bowl.)

Aladdin: Hey! What’s wrong- (Iago lands on his face.)

Sultan: (stutters) Oh, by Heavens! What! (Jasmine lands and bounces off of his hat.)

Jasmine: (grabs lamp from Aladdin’s side as Iago continues to grip his face.) Genieee!

(Jasmine takes off with the lamp gripped in her tail. Abu chatters)

Genie: (from inside the lamp.) Keep it steady out there, Al! I’m flippin’ pancakes!

Aladdin: (removes Iago from his face) Hey! Hey, come back with that! Okay, rat, gimme that lamp!

(Aladdin tries to catch Jasmine by pulling the table cloth from under her. Wazoo slams a round lid over the lamp. Jasmine escapes, but the lamp is under the lid.)

Aladdin: I’ll take that if you please. (Iago runs and snatches the lamp before Aladdin gets it.) Hey! Come back here!

Prince Wazoo: I will stop him for you, Street rat. (Grabs a dagger and prepares to throw it at Iago. Jasmine sees this and scurries up his shirt.) Oh. My. Oh, please! (laughs as if being tickled. He slips on a banana, which shoots into the sultan’s mouth. Wazoo falls back into the fountain and spits as Jasmine leaves his shirt. He whines.) I’m all wet!

Jasmine: Iago? Iago!

(Iago runs by her, holding the lamp over his head.)

Genie: (from inside the lamp) Oh no! (squish noise) There goes my souffle!

Iago: Now listen up, you squiffle-brained genie.

(Abu screeches as he picks up the lamp from a tree.)

Iago: Hey! I taught you that trick!

Jasmine: Abu, no!

(Just then, Rajah growls and chases after Jasmine. When he has her tail caught under his paw, he sniffs her, smiles and licks her friendlily.)

Jasmine: (wipes her brow) Ohh, Rajah.

Aladdin: Abu! Throw me the lamp!

(Abu snootily drops the lamp to Aladdin below him. Iago yells and leaps onto Prince Wazoo, again dunking him under water. He bounces off his hat with a midair yell and lands on Aladdin’s head. He catches the lamp before Aladdin does.)

Aladdin: Hey!

(Iago falls off of Aladdin’s head. The lamp tumbles on the ground. Iago yells as he falls. His frills turn into an umbrella, and he smiles. But then it collapses like an inside-out umbrella, and Iago thumps on the ground.)

Genie: Oo! Ah! Ooh! Eh!

(Aladdin runs after the lamp. He trips on Iago and slides across the table, breaking everything. Genie continues his “Oo! Ah! Ow!” ‘s as Jasmine, who pops out of a hole she dug, chases after him.)

Jasmine: (Jumps onto Rajah’s head) Hurry, Rajah! The lamp!

(Rajah takes off towards the lamp. Abu pursues them, jumping on Wazoo’s head and dunking him again. Jasmine is flung towards and into the lamp, and the lamp comes to a complete stop.)

Genie: (comes out of the lamp with dessert on his head) Okayyy. Who dropped a rat on me? I’ll have you know. Dessert is completely ruined! (sees Jasmine, who is back on Rajah’s head) Ohh! Hi Jasmine! Sorry about… Say there’s something different about you, isn’t there? New hairstyle?

Jasmine: I’m a rat!

Genie: That’s it! Ohh that’s a good look for you!

Jasmine: Genie, you’ve got to help me.

Prince Wazoo: (surfaces and whines) How more rats. (sinks again)

Sultan: (pulls his hat from over his face and stutters) What’s going on? Where’s? Why’s every-? Hmm!

Jasmine: Please, Genie. Change me back to a princess!

Genie: I’ll try, but my powers aren’t what they used to be. Nothing up my sleeve! (removes his arms as if pushing up his sleeves) Presto!

(Genie shoots magic at Jasmine. Her body returns to normal, but she has a rat’s head and tail.)

Genie: Mmm, that’s not it. (He tries again, changing her into a rat with a human body.) Nope. (He tries again and turns her into a creature with her own head surrounded by a pink flower, a giraffe’s neck, white gloved hands holding a baby rattle, a blue dinosaur tail, and an ape-like bottom with a pinned cloth diaper.) Where did that come from?

(He tries again and succeeds.)

Jasmine: Finally.

Iago: Hey! (tugs Genie’s tail) What about me? You think I like being cold-blooded? (Genie changes him back, but his feathers poof out like frills.) Oh. This is good. I’ll NEVER get this down. I LOOK LIKE A PETUNIA OVER HERE!

Aladdin: Princess! What happened to you?

Jasmine: I am not talking to you. (walks away from Aladdin)

Aladdin: What did I do?

Jasmine: (goes over to the rat from the beginning and places it down on the table) As for you, it’s a little messy, but it’s all yours.

(The rat dives into the food eagerly and eats.)

Sultan: (stutters) Jasmine, I don’t understand! I mean, how did ? Where have you?

Jasmine: I’ll explain everything, father. But first, we need to talk about the poor people of Agrabah.

Sultan: Poor people? We have poor people in Agrabah?

(The two walk away. Aladdin and Wazoo see that Jasmine still has a rat tail.)

Prince Wazoo: She’s a rat. My beautiful princess is a rat!

Aladdin: Sorry, Wazoo. Heh. I guess she’s more my type than yours after all, eh?

(The rat on the table, very fat, squeaks and burps and falls over with a smile.)
THE END

24. The Secret of Dagger Rock / Тайна кинжальной скалы
(The desert. ALADDIN and JASMINE fly past on CARPET. We see a little more of the desert, then a pretty oasis, which CARPET is obviously heading for.)

JASMINE: What a perfect day.

(ALADDIN pulls CARPET to a stop, jumps off and CARPET forms steps for JASMINE.)

ALADDIN: It's all in the company you keep.

(JASMINE walks down the steps made by CARPET. ALADDIN catches her around the waist. They smile at each other until they hear a little yelp from behind them. They turn and see a small FOX caught by its foot in a big bear trap.)

ALADDIN: What kind of creep would set a trap like this? (He frees the FOX, who runs over to JASMINE. She catches it and hugs it.)
JASMINE: Ahh ... he's so cute.

(ALADDIN smiles and moves to go back over to them, but finds his feet stuck in black goop underneath him. He struggles, but can't get himself free.)

JASMINE: Aladdin!

(Now the little FOX she's holding becomes XERXES, the sidekick of the sorcerer MOZENRATH, who hisses at her. JASMINE runs towards where ALADDIN is stuck.)

ALADDIN: Jasmine! Stay back!

(CARPET flies over to ALADDIN. ALADDIN catches him and tries to pull himself out, but something zaps CARPET and he crashes back over JASMINE'S head.)

MOZENRATH: Aladdin. You're looking well — though trapped.

(MOZENRATH appears through a portal and stays hovering above everyone.)

ALADDIN: Mozenrath.
MOZENRATH: Guilty. Now let's cut to the bone. You know how I've made a career of collecting magic? Well, I've decided your genie will now be my genie. (During this, XERXES sniffs at ALADDIN'S belt, but ALADDIN swats him away during his own little speech.)
ALADDIN: Yeah, right. Genie's not here, so you're out of luck.
XERXES: (Flying back up to MOZENRATH) No lamp.
MOZENRATH: No problem. I have you now. I'll have him soon enough.

(JASMINE has been waiting at the side, hovering on CARPET.)

JASMINE: Now! (They zoom over towards ALADDIN.) Aladdin! (She tries to pull ALADDIN out, but isn't quite strong enough.)
MOZENRATH: Ho-ho, a girl of action. Where are the tears, little princess? Beg me for mercy. (He raises his right hand and zaps her. She flies backwards and lands on her side, not far from CARPET.)
ALADDIN: Mozenrath!

(He doesn't get to say anything else, because the goop underneath him forms a hand which engulfs him. JASMINE picks herself up and starts running to him.)

JASMINE: Aladdin!

(The hand that caught ALADDIN rolls itself up into a little ball (spraying JASMINE as it does) and forms into a little marble, which MOZENRATH catches.)

MOZENRATH: You know, Princess, pitiful is very cute on you. If you want to see your beloved Aladdin again, have the genie delivered to me at Dagger Rock by nightfall. (He zaps her again and she falls backwards.) Now, I know this won't be easy, but don't try anything royal, like sending an army. Defy me, and —
XERXES: Aladdin pays.
MOZENRATH: With pain.
XERXES: Yes! (He starts to chuckle. MOZENRATH starts to laugh too and they both disappear. JASMINE watches, looking rather ticked.)

(Back to the palace. JASMINE is explaining the situation to GENIE.)

GENIE: He wants me?
JASMINE: Mozenrath wants you at Dagger Rock by sunset. Or else Aladdin —
GENIE: Al's got nothing to fear, Jas. If that warped wizard wants to take me on, let him try! (He poofs himself into a gladiator, a barbarian, then a Mighty Duck, who smacks a hockey puck.) He
shoots, he scores!
JASMINE: Genie, it's an obvious trap. Mozenrath wants your magic. I will rescue Aladdin.
SULTAN: (From off-camera) No, you will not! (We see him entering the throne room.) It's much too dangerous.
JASMINE: But, Father —
SULTAN: Don't worry, Jasmine. I'll send my finest men to rescue the boy.
JASMINE: Father, that's just what Mozenrath expects!
SULTAN: Dearest. Aladdin's best hope is for you to leave this matter to my guards.
JASMINE: Father, listen —
SULTAN: Jasmine! I ... I may be ... I may be a little out of practice at this, but ... but ... go to your room!

(Later, JASMINE is sitting in her room, by the mirror. ABU and IAGO are with her. ABU chatters sadly and JASMINE puts her hands on the dressing table.)

JASMINE: I can not just sit here. (She stands and starts to walk off.)
IAGO: Lie down, then. (JASMINE looks darkly back at him.) Eh, I mean, I find that a good nap clears the mind in a crisis.
JASMINE: Carpet! (CARPET appears and salutes her.) You have to take me to Dagger Rock. And we are going now.
GENIE: Careful! The walls have ears! (A giant GENIE ear appears through a curtain, then the rest of GENIE appears. He poofs himself into the room with JASMINE.) Jasmine, if your father sees you ...
JASMINE: Well, we can't let Mozenrath see you.
GENIE: So only the guards go?
JASMINE: To their doom. No guard's a match for Mozenrath. (She thinks for a moment, then gets an idea.) Genie —
GENIE: Unless ... we're the guards. (He poofs himself into a GUARD.)
IAGO: I am sleeping! I do not hear this crazy talk!

(ABU starts chattering excitedly.)

JASMINE: Sorry, Abu, but you and Iago had better stay here.
ABU: What?!
GENIE: (As a secret agent, to ABU) This is a secret mission. Feathered and furry operatives could blow our cover.
ABU: Oh!
IAGO: (He flies over) So ... you're not gonna drag us along?
JASMINE: Genie, let's get started. (She and GENIE leave the room.)
IAGO: (Flying back over to ABU) I feel so left out! (He slides down JASMINE'S chair/bed thing and onto a couple of cushions, where he puts his wings behind his head.) Ah ... I could get used to this.

(We go to the gates of Agrabah, and see four GUARDS leaving, riding camels.)

RASOUL: Onward, beast.
SULTAN: (From a tower window) Do bring Aladdin home safely!
RASOUL: (Waving to the SULTAN) Without fail, Your Highness. (Then he adds to himself) Risking our lives for a lousy street rat.

(We see the back of the GUARDS. The last two suddenly disappear from their camels and JASMINE and GENIE (dressed as guards, of course, JASMINE wearing a fake beard and a fake moustache) take their place.)

RASOUL: (Looking back) What's going on here?
GENIE: Personnel reassignment. Paperwork just went through, sir. (He hands RASOUL a scroll.)
RASOUL: Stinking bureaucracy ...

(The GUARDS continue through the desert.)

JASMINE: (To GENIE) I think we're going to wrong way.
GENIE: Well, say something.

(JASMINE goes ahead to catch up to RASOUL.)

JASMINE: Ah, not to say this isn't a lovely route, Rasoul, but I was wondering maybe ... maybe ... (GENIE snatches her back.)
GENIE: If you want Rasoul to listen, you have to talk like a man.
JASMINE: Man? And how is that?
GENIE: (First produces a very girly sound) Well, uh ... since you're new at this, I'll give you the (deep booming voice) Brief History of Man. (He poofs himself into various things to tell the story.
First is a Proto-Man.) This is the single cell Proto-Man. This little fella had only one muscle. And so, in an effort to look tough, Man evolved. (He evolves into a trilobite thing.) But hard shells were nearly impossible to tattoo. (He morphs into a fish with a tattoo of a mermaid and an anchor on his chest.) So man swam on. (The fish swims off and becomes a fish-looking thing
with arms and legs.) Man needed arms and legs, so he could operate a really hot set of wheels. (We see a car, which the fish-man jumps into.) Preferably a liquid-cooled, fuel-injected, turbo-charged Straight Eight.
FISH-MAN: And the best part, it's leased! (He zooms off.)
GENIE: This process will continue until he reaches his ultimate macho form in the 1970s. (He becomes an ape-man, a football player, a construction worker, a cowboy, and finally a disco dancer.)
JASMINE: Thanks, Genie. (She rides to catch RASOUL again.) Yo, Rasoul! You got somethin' against the shortcut through the Shiftin' Sands?

(RASOUL turns back.)

RASOUL: Listen here, you plebian little — (FAZAL puts a hand on his arm.)
FAZAL: He's right. It would be much faster.
RASOUL: Ah, the shortcut through the Shifting Sands was to be my next order. If someone hadn't interrupted me. What did you say your name was?
JASMINE: Jamahl.
FAZAL: (To GENIE) And what is your name?
GENIE: Ah, oh, ah, me? Gee, uh — Ned.

(We go through a mountain pass and inside what looks like a large cavern. MOZENRATH takes the marble from his robes and throws it at one of the convenient rocks. It bursts open and ALADDIN emerges, now stuck to the rocks with the black goop that captured him before. He struggles, but can't get free. XERXES floats up to him and starts chuckling.)

MOZENRATH: Soon your genie will be mine.
ALADDIN: You'll never get Genie!
MOZENRATH: And who is gonna stop me, Aladdin? You? You who refused to be a Sultan so you could play 'the hero'?
ALADDIN: Beats some of your hobbies.
MOZENRATH: I single handedly conquered the Land of the Black Sand. I became the most powerful sorcerer of our age. And that's only the start. I will rule the Seven Deserts!
ALADDIN: Sure ... but how many parties do you get invited to?

(XERXES starts chuckling; MOZENRATH grabs him around the neck.)

MOZENRATH: Some of us have free time to torment the prisoner. But some of us should be on the look-out for my new genie! (He releases XERXES, who flies reluctantly off.)
ALADDIN: You lost this battle the minute you got Jasmine mad.
MOZENRATH: Oh, no! (He laughs) I've angered the princess.
ALADDIN: You don't get it. I've seen her mad.
MOZENRATH: Oh, should I tremble at the painted toes of her dainty little feet? I don't think so! Your precious princess is no doubt weeping in some cloistered corner of the palace.

(We see JASMINE riding through the desert, then XERXES flying along near the dunes close to the guards. He hides himself in one of them to watch.)

GENIE: Yessir! Nothing like a dangerous mission to make a man feel manly! (He bumps JASMINE, who almost falls off her camel, but GENIE catches her.) Oh, sorry man.

(JASMINE senses something.)

JASMINE: Halt! Something is out there!
RASOUL: How dare you give the halt command! It is my command. One of many I bellow.

(JASMINE rides a little ahead and sticks her sword into the dune. XERXES yelps and comes out. He flies in circles around JASMINE, then over to the others.)

JASMINE: Capture it!

(XERXES flies circles around GENIE and the other GUARDS, looking for the lamp. The GUARDS kick at him until JASMINE snatches RASOUL'S turban and catches him in it. He struggles, but can't seem to break free.)

RASOUL: Well done, Jamahl! I'll take over the capture from here. (He takes the turban from JASMINE. XERXES struggles again, and breaks through the top of the turban. He bites RASOUL and flies off.)

(Back to the palace. ABU is sitting at the window, looking very mournful.)

IAGO: Relax, monkey! They do the adventure thing, and we do the hang out thing. (We see ABU'S face, then IAGO joins him at the window.) How long is it gonna take them, anyway?

(At Dagger Rock, MOZENRATH is pacing impatiently, waiting for XERXES. He looks up when he sees XERXES flying back in, out of breath. He stops at MOZENRATH.)

MOZENRATH: Give me a full report.
XERXES: Four guards.
MOZENRATH: So did they have the genie?
XERXES: No genie.
MOZENRATH: Did you see the lamp?
XERXES: No lamp.
MOZENRATH: So is there any reason why we shouldn't obliterate Aladdin's little rescue party?
XERXES: No reason. (He chuckles.)

(The GUARDS progress through the desert. FAZAL looks carefully at JASMINE, who is missing her beard from the last fight. She notices him looking at her.)

JASMINE: What is it, man?
FAZAL: Didn't you have a beard?

(JASMINE feels her face and realises the beard is gone.)

JASMINE: No.
FAZAL: But ... I remember —
JASMINE: Enough, man. We have arrived. The Land of the Black Sand.
GENIE: (When his camel starts bucking) Whoa, whoa ... easy, Humpty. Look alive, men. Something's spooking the camels.

(MAMLUKS, MOZENRATH'S guards, start to rise from the sand.)

JASMINE: Undead guardians.
GENIE: Pretty much undead anything woud do it. Yah!

(The MAMLUKS start to advance.)

FAZAL: Mamluks! The shambling half-dead!

(RASOUL leaps off his camel, draws his sword, yells and charges at the MAMLUKS. FAZAL swallows, then yells, but a MAMLUK grabs him around the neck and pulls him off his camel. The MAMLUK looks at FAZAL for a moment, then throws him head-first into a dune. RASOUL is still fighting, trying to fend off three or four MAMLUKS at once. GENIE peeks out from between one of the camels' legs, then we see him crouching behind it. JASMINE is there too.)

GENIE: I'll get the mamluks.
JASMINE: I'll keep Rasoul busy. (She hurries off. We see RASOUL still fighting, then JASMINE calls to him.) Rasoul! Behind you!

(RASOUL turns, and CARPET pushes his turban down over his eyes. A MAMLUK wanders up behind him, but GENIE snatches it before it reaches RASOUL. RASOUL continues to struggle to get the turban off his eyes.)

RASOUL: Hey! What is going on here?!
JASMINE: Don't look! The burning glow from a mamluk's eyes can blind an entire army. (This makes RASOUL cower and stop struggling.)

(Meanwhile, GENIE is taking care of the MAMLUKS. He picks one up, looks at it, then winds up and bowls it towards three others like a bowling ball and pins.)

GENIE: Yes!

(FAZAL manages to pull his head out of the sand. JASMINE notices and gasps.)

JASMINE: Carpet!

(CARPET flies over and winds himself around FAZAL'S head. GENIE is still fighting the mamluks. He materialises a boxing ring for him to fight in.)

ANNOUNCER: (GENIE) In this corner, the rambling, shambling mamluks! (The
MAMLUKS, standing in the corner, look frightened.) In this corner, hailing from parts unknown, weighing in at 472 pounds ... eight ounces, the Genie of the Lamp!
WRESTLER GENIE: Rub this lamp, and you're wishin' for lights out, man!

(He launches himself off the ropes at the MAMLUKS.)

ANNOUNCER: Ow! Oh, a (something I can't make out — sorry!) I wish you could see this, but broadcast standards forbid that we show any kind of mayhem! Ooh, that's gotta hurt! Nobody home!
WRESTLER GENIE: I am the Genie of Pain! I will rub you out!
JASMINE: Ned. (ahem) Ned! (We see the GENIE shaking one of the MAMLUKS in his mouth.) Genie! (GENIE finally hears her.)
GENIE: Oopsie.

(He makes the boxing ring vanish and poofs back into his guard clothes and all the MAMLUKS clatter to the ground around him.

RASOUL: (Worried) Poor Fazal. He must've stared into the mamluks' eyes!

(FAZAL stumbles about, CARPET still wound around his head.)

FAZAL: All has gone dark!

(CARPET releases him and rolls himself back up on one of the camels' backs.)

JASMINE: (To RASOUL) It's okay — you can look now.

(RASOUL pulls the turban off his eyes and sees GENIE standing near all the MAMLUK corpses in a real hero pose, one foot up on the pile of MAMLUKS.)

RASOUL: How — ?
GENIE: Well, I ah ... majored in mamluk battling at ah, school. (GUARDS exchange a glance. GENIE jumps back on his camel.) Let's go!

(They ride off again. RASOUL looks back at JASMINE, riding behind him. She's missing her moustache now too. RASOUL thinks for a moment. JASMINE sees him and starts thinking herself. She too notices her moustache is gone. RASOUL realises something and looks back, but CARPET quickly covers under JASMINE'S nose, where the moustache should be. RASOUL looks suspicious, but when he looks back, the moustache is back in place. He shakes his head in disbelief.)

RASOUL: Yeh, onward men!

(And they continue along their way. XERXES watches them go, then flies over to a dune where he can inspect the damage. He gasps when he looks over and sees the MAMLUKS defeated and chasing after their legs, arms, heads, etc. He flies off. Back to the palace in Agrabah now. ABU is still sitting by the window, and we see him jump back inside. He flops down on a cushion near IAGO.)

IAGO: Ya know, we could still catch up with the others. (ABU looks up and chatters excitedly.) Whoa! What am I sayin'? (He dips his head in a bowl of water.) Get a grip here. I gotta think cowardly thoughts. Adventure hurts. Adventure very bad. Adventure you could hurt yourself. (ABU chatters at him and folds his arms.)

(Back to Dagger Rock. XERXES flies in to give MOZENRATH a report.)

MOZENRATH: So, what was the damage? Gruesome, I hope?
XERXES: Real ugly.
MOZENRATH: So we crushed the street rat's saviors.
XERXES: We — lost.
MOZENRATH: My ... my mamluks? Defeated by mere mortals?
ALADDIN: Pretty pathetic, Mozenrath.

(MOZENRATH narrows his eyes and turns back to ALADDIN.)

MOZENRATH: I should have known the Sultan would send his bravest warriors to rescue this court jester. (He zaps ALADDIN. XERXES chuckles and MOZENRATH takes a couple of pieces of rock from the ground.) Well, I like a good laugh too. I'm laughing already. (He laughs and throws the rocks towards the GUARDS, ever drawing nearer.)

(The two pieces of rock land in front of the GUARDS and build up to become two giant HANDS which proceed to chase after the GUARDS. They all turn and run, but one captures CARPET and JASMINE, who loses her disguise completely now.)

JASMINE: Genie!

(GENIE poofs himself out of the guard disguise and goes to rescue JASMINE. She struggles and manages to free herself, but falls before GENIE can catch her.)

GENIE: Jasmine!

(CARPET races after her and catches her just before she hits some rocks.)

RASOUL: (With FAZAL, captured by the the other HAND and now realising who the new guard is) Princess Jasmine?!

(The other HAND starts chasing JASMINE, who flies off on CARPET, evading it as it tries to thump her. GENIE is working on freeing the other two GUARDS.)

GENIE: Let go! These are devoted civil servants — Agrabah's finest! (He fails to make the HAND let go and spins off into the air. He gathers his thoughts and goes in for another try. He poofs himself into a motherly-type woman.) Oh, look at these nails. You need a trim, doll. (He takes out a jackhammer and hammers the HAND in a few places until it lets go and RASOUL and FAZAL fall to the ground. The HAND promptly starts chasing them again.) Thank me later, boys. (The HAND flicks RASOUL and FAZAL into the sand. They come up coughing and GENIE grins sheepishly.)
JASMINE: Genie, look out!

(GENIE zooms off just in time to save himself being crushed by the HANDS. Instead they hit each other and break into thousands of tiny pieces.)

JASMINE: Come on, Genie. It's almost sunset. (GENIE joins her on CARPET and the two of them fly off.)

(Dagger Rock. We see the sun sinking. MOZENRATH is getting impatient.)

MOZENRATH: My orders to the princess were simple. The lamp was to be mine by nightfall.
ALADDIN: Princess Jasmine doesn't take orders from anybody.
MOZENRATH: That being the case, I'm thinking that I should keep my end of the bargain. It's been nice knowing you, Aladdin. Then again — no it hasn't. (He takes hold of ALADDIN'S shirt.) Goodbye, Aladdin.
JASMINE: (Off-camera) Hello, Mozenrath!
ALADDIN: Told ya.

(We scale up the cliff and see JASMINE hovering above.)

JASMINE: I always get my man.
MOZENRATH: Ha ha! Look, Xerxes, it's the Royal Pain. (JASMINE glares at him.) Hoo-hoo-hoo, if looks could bruise.

(JASMINE zooms towards MOZENRATH. She jumps off CARPET. MOZENRATH prepares to zap her, but JASMINE gets there first, knocking him off his feet. She skids to a halt and CARPET catches her before she hits the wall. MOZENRATH slides down a cliff face and manages to grab hold of the edge with his magic hand before he falls off the edge. JASMINE gasps as he manages to pull himself back up.)

MOZENRATH: Are you clear on just how excruciatingly painful my powers can be?

(He goes to zap her, but XERXES stops him and turns his head.)

XERXES: The trap.

(GENIE is over with ALADDIN, a pair of scissors in his hand. He cuts one of the goop-ropes holding ALADDIN up, then stops when he realises his hand is stuck to the one on the other side and the one he just cut is dripping down onto his hand. He struggles, but just gets himself more tangled up.)

GENIE: Don't worry, Al. (ALADDIN, suspended by his feet and one hand, blinks. GENIE struggles some more and cuts the goop-rope holding him to the top. He falls, meaning he's hanging from the rope attached to ALADDIN'S hand.) Alright — worry.
MOZENRATH: Welcome, my genie.
JASMINE: (Flying up behind him) He's not your genie!

(MOZENRATH zaps her and she collapses on CARPET.)

MOZENRATH: Why is she constantly contradicting me? (He zaps ALADDIN and GENIE and brings them round to lie in front of him.) Now — my magical captives must obey a few ground rules. I don't put up with obstinate servants.
GENIE: I'm a free genie, bub. The only thing I'm a slave to is — fashion! These things go great with a tasteful string of pearls.
MOZENRATH: Hmm ... how does one trap a free genie? What is this? (He reaches inside his cape and pulls out a crystal.) This might do the trick.
GENIE: Yaaah!! (He hides behind ALADDIN.)
ALADDIN: Genie, what is it?
GENIE: The Crystal of Ix! Ooh, even to say it out loud would be to invite my doom!
MOZENRATH: Allow me. Ixtala!
GENIE: Aaah! He said it!

(The crystal in MOZENRATH'S hand begins to glow. It rises into the air. XERXES, realising what's going to happen, starts to fly off, but a beam comes from the crystal, searches him out and pulls him back, trapping him inside the crystal, which floats back down to MOZENRATH'S hand.)

MOZENRATH: Ixtabor!

(He throws the crystal in the air and it releases XERXES.)

GENIE: Well, it only snagged the wonder-slug! Methinks the crystal's power has been a wee bit overrated. Let's see you catch a semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic genie with that little knick knack.
MOZENRATH: Point well taken. If only I had ... a monumental crystal!

(That said, he rises into the air and takes a chunk from the rock in the centre of the cavern, revealing something else underneath. He flies around it a few times and the rock starts to fall away, eventually revealing a giant Crystal. GENIE and ALADDIN (and JASMINE on CARPET) start running away from it, dodging the large bits of rock that are falling as MOZENRATH uncovers the Crystal.)

GENIE: That could do it.
MOZENRATH: IXTALA!

(A large beam comes from the huge crystal, and starts searching out GENIE. It goes past where he, along with ALADDIN, is hiding behind a rock, pauses and comes back, dragging GENIE out with it. GENIE can't do anything about it, but ALADDIN grabs his hands in an effort to stop him being pulled backwards.)

ALADDIN: Genie —

(But ALADDIN isn't strong enough and he too starts getting pulled towards the Crystal. GENIE continues to yell while he's being pulled and ALADDIN manages to get his feet up on a rock in the way, stopping them for a little while. MOZENRATH starts to laugh. Just behind him, JASMINE and CARPET are plotting.)

JASMINE: Mozenrath's is just full of magical power— right? (CARPET nods.) Carpet, let's move. (She jumps on and they fly off.)

(ALADDIN is still trying to prevent GENIE being pulled into the Crystal.)

MOZENRATH: I love it!

(ALADDIN is losing his grip on GENIE'S hand.)

ALADDIN: Hang on!

(But he can't, and ALADDIN loses his grip. However, before GENIE gets far, the black goop, still stuck to his hand, stops him going any further ... for now.)

GENIE: Wha — ?

(ALADDIN pulls the string of black goop holding them together, pulling GENIE closer. When he's almost there, the string starts to break. ALADDIN tries another spot and pulls again. MOZENRATH is watching all of this.)

MOZENRATH: (To XERXES) Look how Aladdin loves his genie. He'd do anything for him. Can we really take his genie away? (XERXES nods.) In a Gomorrah minute. (He doesn't see JASMINE fly up behind him.)

(ALADDIN is still working on GENIE when MOZENRATH floats down and prepares to zap them both. But JASMINE grabs his cape and starts pulling him upwards.)

MOZENRATH: You!

(JASMINE takes MOZENRATH to just above the Crystal's beam ... and lets go.)

MOZENRATH: NO!

(He falls into the path of the beam, which then lets GENIE go, who falls. MOZENRATH sends out his own beam, which zaps XERXES and pulls him into the Crystal too. The spell completed, the Crystal returns to normal and we see MOZENRATH and XERXES trapped inside. JASMINE is looking at them both.)

JASMINE: Next time know who you're up against! (She flies back over to
ALADDIN and GENIE, who look very impressed.)
GENIE: Wow! What an awesome display of manline — uh-uh — womanli — uh ... heroics.
JASMINE: It's all in the company you keep.

(Back at the palace in Agrabah, the GUARDS are relating things to the SULTAN.)

FAZAL: The princess caught the evil one in his own trap.
RASOUL: It was remarkable, Your Highness.
SULTAN: Not so remarkable, really. After all, Rasoul — she is my daughter. (He chuckles and JASMINE smiles.)
ALADDIN: (Pulling JASMINE away from the SULTAN) My hero.

(GENIE pushes ALADDIN and JASMINE apart.)

GENIE: Hey — anyone seen our funny little animal sidekicks?

(Back to Dagger Rock — IAGO and ABU have just arrived. They're both equipped with guns, knives, arrows ... and ... well, let's just say they're prepared.)

IAGO: Dagger Rock — twelve o'clock high. (ABU follows him.) It's showtime! (Even more weapons burst from the belt he's wearing. ABU follows and does the same thing. But there's nobody in sight.) Where is everybody? I think those shambling, half-dead mamluk guys gave us bad directions. (They both collapse against the Crystal.) Maybe we're supposed to go to Danger Rock, or Dagger Reef ... eh, I don't know, like more of a nautical thing... (We see MOZENRATH and XERXES above them, trapped in the Crystal.)

THE END

26. Plunder the Sea / Грабёж средь синя моря
(Setting: On a ship at sea, at night. The captain and a sailor are out on the deck. Suddenly, bubbles start rising up out of the ocean, and the sailor notices this.)

Sailor: The sea! It boils!

(Giant tentacles start rising out of the sea and begin to smash the ship to pieces. In a matter of seconds there is nothing left of it. The captain has survived and is trying to cling to pieces of wreckage to stay afloat, when the thing that attacked the ship starts to rise out of the sea beneath him. It has a giant human head with a beard, glowing eyes, and tentacles coming out of the "neck".)

Captain (voice-over): Never have my eyes beheld such horror as that loathsome face lurking in the depths.

(Setting: Agrabah. The captain is in the throne room of the palace, telling his story to the sultan, Jasmine, and Aladdin.)

Sultan: We should send a salvage crew to retrieve the cargo, but who would brave the dangers of Neptune's Triangle for a mere ten percent of a chest full of gold?

(Iago and Abu are also in the throne room. They haven't been paying attention up until this point, but at the mention of a treasure they sit up and take notice.)

Iago: Uh, how big a chest are we actually talkin' about?

Aladdin: No problem, Sultan. I'll do it.

Captain: It's much too dangerous. No ship could survive! Why, you'd have to have the courage of… Captain al-Butros.

Sultan: The nautical hero? Who defeated the Seven Fleets of Jambalaya?

Jasmine: A man of his courage and ability could definitely do it!

Aladdin: So you don't think I could handle it?

Jasmine: Aladdin, no one is doubting you…

Iago: (to Abu) I see that gold slippin' through our fingers. (to Aladdin) You're gonna let this al-Butros guy hog the spotlight? I say we go with him.

Aladdin: Yeah! And we'll just see who's the great hero! (stomps away)

Jasmine: (rolling her eyes) Men.

(Setting: later, down at the docks. Aladdin, Iago, and Abu arrive.)

Aladdin: Great hero, huh? I'll bet he hasn't faced mud creatures or—

(Aladdin sees al-Butros's ship; the rigging is covered with little red flags.)

Aladdin: Okay, so his ship has dozens of victory flags.

(Captain al-Butros walks into view. He is very tall and muscular.)

Aladdin: And, yeah, yeah, I guess he looks kind of impressive.

(A rope holding up a heavy load of cargo begins to snap, and there is a seagull directly underneath it. al-Butros sees this, runs down and catches the cargo before it crushes the bird.)

Aladdin: (sigh) And I guess he is a lot braver and stronger than I am.

Abu: Nuh uh!

Aladdin: (looking at his clothes) I must look pretty stupid. (takes Genie's lamp out of his vest and rubs it)

(Genie is wearing a pink ballerina's outfit and dances around for a few seconds before Aladdin taps him on the shoulder, which knocks him over.)

Genie: Aw, darn it, Al! We're just getting to the part where the fawn dies!

Aladdin: Genie, you've gotta help me! I don't want to meet Captain al-Butros looking like a landlubber!

Genie: (gasps) The Captain al-Butros? Who defeated the Seven Fleets of Jambalaya?

Aladdin: Whatever! Just make me look like a sailor, would ya?

(Genie gives Aladdin a fancy pirate outfit, then turns himself into a parrot.)

Genie: Awk! Polly wanna cracker! Awk!

Iago: As a parrot, I find that stereotype very offensive!

Genie: He'll never mistake you for a landlubber in this disguise!

(Aladdin walks up to al-Butros, who is raising his ship's anchor by himself, with his bare hands.)

Aladdin: Captain al-Butros? I am Aladdin. I come—

al-Butros: (sarcastically) Terrific. A landlubber.

Aladdin: (glaring at Genie) Uh, yeah. (handing al-Butros a scroll) By order of the sultan, you must prepare your ship to salvage precious lost cargo. Uh, where's your crew?

al-Butros: Ha! Crew? Crews are for weaklings! You'll be my crew! Make yourself useful, finish pulling up the anchor!

(al-Butros gives the chain holding the anchor to Aladdin, but he can't hold the weight and is pulled overboard into the water)

al-Butros: This is no time for a swim, boy! We sail at once! Into glory!

(Setting: night. al-Butros's ship is out at sea in the middle of a storm. The cabin door opens and Aladdin steps out, with Abu clinging to his neck, and slowly crosses the deck, fighting against the wind. He finally makes it to the ship's wheel, where al-Butros is standing, laughing.)

Aladdin: Captain, shouldn't you go below deck?

al-Butros: Haha, and miss all this? Never is one so alive as when facing a fine, strong storm at sea! You must look death in the eye and laugh! (laughs)

(Abu waves goodbye to Aladdin, lets go, and lets the wind blow him back into the cabin.)

Aladdin: But, I see I've overestimated ya. You are afraid.

(Aladdin takes a rope and ties himself to the ship's mast. al-Butros continues laughing at the storm. Aladdin laughs nervously.)

(Setting: the next morning. The sea is calm now, but the ship's sails are in tatters from the storm. Genie, Iago, and Abu come up on deck and see Aladdin, asleep, soaked with seawater and still tied to the mast.)

Genie: Al, are you okay?

Aladdin: (waking up) Agh, that's the dumbest thing I've ever—

al-Butros: Wasn't that exciting, boy?

Aladdin: Exciting? Obviously you've never faced the poisoned winds of Garleeka!

al-Butros: No… but you've probably never endured the razor whips of Dyspepsia!

(Abu chatters excitedly and points at something in the ocean.)

Aladdin: It's the figurehead from the lost ship!

al-Butros: Listen… It's too quiet. The sea is dead calm. Even the birds won't venture into these waters. We're in… Neptune's Triangle!

Genie: Neptune's Triangle! The deadliest waters known to man! Graveyard of lost ships! Doom of a thousand sailors!

al-Butros: My kinda place! We dive here!

Iago: Dive?! You mean into the water?! I mean, uh, Abu and I had better stay up here and, uh, help Genie haul up my gold. I mean, the sultan's gold.

Abu: Uh huh, uh huh!

al-Butros: Good! We men will dive, while your pets remain behind.

Iago and Genie: Pets?

Aladdin: Uh, I'll get the harpoons in case that… that thing shows up.

al-Butros: (tying weights to his belt) Harpoons? Bah! A real man needs no weapons. I'll rip that filthy monstrosity apart with my teeth.

Iago: Ick! Be sure to floss afterwards.

Aladdin: Uh, how are we supposed to breathe down there?

al-Butros: Breathe? Bah!

Genie: (creating two large bubbles) No problem, Al! Breathing's no trouble with the magic Genie bubble! Order now, supplies are limited! As seen on TV.

(The bubbles cover Aladdin and al-Butros's heads like diving helmets. al-Butros is annoyed and tries to pull his off, but it won't budge.)

Aladdin: (handing one end of a rope to Genie) Genie, when you feel me tug on the rope, pull the cargo up.

Genie: I'm down wit' that, homie!

(Aladdin jumps overboard. al-Butros, still struggling with his bubble-helmet, is pushed overboard by Genie. As they sink towards the ocean floor, a school of bright yellow fish swims by.)

Aladdin: Incredible!

(Aladdin tries to pet one of the fish. al-Butros yells at it and scares it away. They finally reach the ocean floor.)

al-Butros: Come, let's find a shark! I've always wanted to wrestle one in his own element.

Aladdin: Uh, why don't we find the gold first and then you can get yourself killed?

al-Butros: Ha ha ha! A shark, kill me? Never lose your sense of humor, boy!

(Aladdin sees the shipwreck off in the distance.)

Aladdin: Wow! Captain! Over here!

(A short while later, Aladdin is tying the rope to the treasure chest.)

Aladdin: That oughta do it! (tugs on the rope)

(Back up on deck, Genie, dressed as a fisherman, feels the tug. He turns the rope into a fishing line and starts to reel it in.)

Genie: Ooh, feels like a big one!

(Abu chatters excitedly.)

Iago: Ooh, there's nothing I like better than a big golden chest!

Aladdin: I've got a bad feeling about this place.

al-Butros: (teasing) Oh, afraid of that sea monster, eh?

Aladdin: Uh, of course not! It's just that slaying demons gets dull after the first few hundred. Besides, I don't believe all that nonsense about a giant—

(A giant red, glowing eye appears in front of Aladdin.)

Aladdin: Sea monster!

(Tentacles start reaching through the hull of the shipwreck after them. Aladdin grabs a piece of wood and starts hitting one, while al-Butros grabs another tentacle and arm-wrestles it.

al-Butros: Come on, you slimy little…

(More tentacles appear and grab Aladdin and al-Butros and pull them out of the shipwreck, towards the monster's mouth.)

(Later, back on the ship…)

(Iago is throwing the treasure from the chest up into the air and laughing maniacally, while Genie and Abu watch, bored.)

Genie: I really thought he'd quiet down after the first hour.

(Abu chatters something to Genie.)

Genie: You're right! They've been down there too long! We'd better go check on them.

(Genie creates a bubble for Abu's head, and one covering Iago's whole body.)

Iago: No, I don't wanna go down there! It's wet and it's spooky!

(Abu kicks Iago into the water, and the others jump in after him.)

(Aladdin and al-Butros are in what looks like a control room, full of levers and gears. They are just now regaining consciousness.)

al-Butros: The afterlife!

Aladdin: …is a boiler room?

Mechanikles: (stepping out of the shadows) Wrong! You are inside my latest diabolical invention!

Aladdin: Mechanikles?!

Mechanikles: Yes, Mechanikles! Greatest of the great Greek geniuses!

al-Butros: Come on, boy! We'll make shark bait out of this pencil-necked Greek!

(They run at Mechanikles, but he pulls a lever and bars raise out of the floor, caging them.)

Mechanikles: Now down to business. (holds up two outfits, one dirtier than the other) Which of these two tunics would you say is the cleanest?

Aladdin: Uh…

Mechanikles: Correct! The one on the left. That is because this one was washed in the ordinary way, while this one was steam cleaned.

Aladdin: Don't tell me: you're gonna boil the ocean and steam clean the Earth.

Mechanikles: Gold star for Aladdin!

al-Butros: How did you figure that out?

Mechanikles: This vessel is actually a giant steam cleaner! Pumps suck water in, zoom, then, woosh! Out comes lovely steam! Isn't it just lovely? Couldn't you just spit? At last I'll exterminate all the Earth's filthy germs and all the filthy people that carry them! But, to get the materials to build this thing — my my my, what a chore — I had to wreck thirty or forty ships all by myself.

Aladdin: Life's rough when you're your own boss.

al-Butros: I am master of the Seven Seas! Violate them and you answer to me! (bends the bars of the cage)

Mechanikles: Impressive! Tell me, who's your fitness trainer?

(Aladdin and al-Butros climb out of the cage, but Mechanikles pulls another lever and a trapdoor opens beneath them.)

Aladdin: This guy has a lever for everything!

al-Butros: No trap can hold the mighty Captain al-Butros!

Aladdin: Do you ever get tired of talking like that?

al-Butros: A true man never tires!

Mechanikles: The time has come to execute my fiendish plan and get my revenge on you, Aladdin!

Aladdin: You see? It's me he wants revenge on. Uh, what did you just mean by "revenge"?

Mechanikles: You are in the salt filter! I cannot clean the Earth with salt water! In five minutes this chamber will be filled with salt and you'll suffocate! (laughs, and the trap door closes)

(Mechanikles starts pulling lots of levers and his machine rises up to the ocean surface. It then starts sucking in seawater and expelling steam out of its mouth.)

(Aladdin stands on al-Butros's shoulders and tries to push the trapdoor open again.)

Aladdin: It's sealed tight!

(Genie, Iago, and Abu are swimming along the ocean floor.)

Genie: Welcome to the saltwater world of Cap'n Genie!

(A yellow and purple fish swims past them.)

Genie: Ah, the rockfish. A miracle of nature's subtle camouflage.(examining a piece of wood on the sea floor) A piece-of-wood fish! Shrewdly concealed, it fears no predator.

Iago: Some underwater expert the blue boy turned out to be!

Abu: Hey! (points at something)

Iago: You've got two seconds to tell me that I'm dreaming. One, two… aaaaah!

Genie: Oo la la! C'est un grand monstre!

(The three of them are sucked into Mechanikles's machine, go through lots of pipes, and finally land in the salt filter, which is now full up to the two men's necks.)

Genie: Al, buddy! You're okay!

Aladdin: Genie, get us outta here!

al-Butros: Wait! I won't stand for being rescued. It's unmanly!

Iago: Okay, how about he rescues me, and you just come along to protect me?

al-Butros: I could live with that.

Aladdin: Can you do something?

Genie: Well, I guess I could pull out this plug I'm standing on.

Aladdin: Just do it!

(Genie pulls out the plug and they're all sucked back out into the ocean. They start swimming up to the surface, but Aladdin is caught in the current and sucked back toward the machine. He's caught in the intake valve for a few seconds, causing the whole machine to shake and groan. Genie turns into a seahorse and carries Aladdin away from the machine. He then turns into a whale and swims towards the others with his mouth open. He grabs them in his mouth and carries everyone to the surface. Whale-genie then shoots them all back onto the ship's deck with his blowhole.)

Aladdin: (pointing to the machine, with clouds of steam rising from it) It's the monster! It's started!

al-Butros: We'll ram it head-on! (raises the sails, then steers the ship towards the machine)

Aladdin: No! You'll wreak the ship! You saw how that thing shook when I was blocking the hole! It was from pressure! If we could—

al-Butros: (pushes Aladdin away) Coward! We'll do this the manly way!

Aladdin: There's nothing manly about getting us all killed! I'm through trying to prove I'm your kind of hero! I'm taking over the ship!

(Aladdin and al-Butros fight over the ship's wheel.)

al-Butros: Never! I am master of this ship!

(The two continue fighting, until they accidentally roll overboard, pulling Abu with them.)

Genie: Hang on, Al! I'm coming! (turns into a life preserver and jumps into the water)

Iago: Nuh uh! No way! This time I am not getting off the ship!

(Mechanikles sees the ship coming towards him.)

Mechanikles: Another ship? This is getting ridiculous! (making notes on a scroll) "Smash ship to bits… again."

(The machine's tentacles rise out of the water around the ship. Iago sees them, screams, and flies away.)

(Underwater, Aladdin and al-Butros are still fighting. Aladdin passes out from lack of oxygen. al-Butros sees the machine passing by overhead and swims after it, while Abu saves Aladdin. They all reach the surface in time to see the ship being destroyed.)

al-Butros: My ship!

Aladdin: (to Genie) We've gotta do something!

(Aladdin sees the treasure chest floating on a piece of driftwood.)

Aladdin: Genie! Grab the chest!

Iago: Good idea! Save the gold!

Aladdin: We can use it to plug that hole!

Genie: (as a giant rubber duckie) You got it, duckie! (picks up the chest)

Iago: Wait, Genie! Bad idea! (weeping) Not the gold! Not the gold!

al-Butros: My ship!

Mechanikles: (seeing that Aladdin and his friends have survived) Well, these guys certainly are hard to get rid of! (pulls a lever) But not impossible!

(The machine's tentacles start heading towards them again.)

al-Butros: My ship! I'll get you for this!

(al-Butros swims toward a tentacle, which wraps around him. Another tentacle grabs Abu. Aladdin starts climbing up the tentacle that has al-Butros, trying to free him.)

al-Butros: Forget about me, boy! Get that barracuda who destroyed my ship!

Aladdin: But you'll be crushed!

al-Butros: Then I shall go out in a blaze of glory such as—

Aladdin: All right, all right, I'll go, just shut up!

(Genie swims toward the hole, carrying the treasure chest.)

Genie: Let's see, divide the rate of suction by speed of rotation… (is sucked toward the machine) Whoops! Deja vu!

(Genie is sucked into the machine, but the treasure chest gets lodged in the hole after him. The machine starts to shut down.)

Aladdin: (climbing up the machine's face) Way to go, Genie! (jumps into its mouth)

(Aladdin enters the machine's control room, where Mechanikles is still trying to pilot it.)

Aladdin: Time to give up the ship, Mechanikles!

Mechanikles: Ha ha! Not as long as I have my secret weapon! (pulls a lever; nothing happens, then he makes a note on a scroll) "Repair secret weapon."

(Aladdin dives at Mechanikles, who jumps out of the way.)

(al-Butros and Abu are still being held by the tentacles. Iago flies up to Abu.)

Iago: Uh, look, would it help if I fled in terror?

(Another tentacle swats Iago away.)

(Genie is pushed through the pipes of the machine and ends up coming out of its nose.)

Genie: Ooh, I hope no one gets a picture of me like this.

Aladdin: (still chasing Mechanikles) You're faster than you look! (stops to rest by a control panel)

Mechanikles: Stay away from that lever!

Aladdin: Why?

Mechanikles: It'll destroy my precious invention!

(Aladdin pulls the lever.)

Mechanikles: (writing) "Never tell enemy which lever will destroy invention."

(The machine explodes. Aladdin and Abu swim toward a large piece of driftwood, where Iago also lands.)

Aladdin: You guys all right?

Iago: (coughing) Don't worry about me. How's the gold?

(Genie emerges from the water carrying the treasure chest.)

Genie: Look what I found!

Aladdin: Good going, Genie!

Iago: Score! (high-fives Abu)

Genie: Oh, and I found this, too! (pulls al-Butros out of the water)

al-Butros: I have destroyed the monster of Neptune's Triangle! Another glorious victory for Captain al-Butros!

Aladdin: Fine, you're the great hero. Happy now?

al-Butros: Yes!

Genie: (pushing their driftwood raft off towards the horizon) Next stop, Agrabah! Goodbye, Neptune's Triangle! Goodbye! We'll miss you!

Iago: Like a lobster misses melted butter!

Abu: Oh…

THE END

28. Web of Fear / В паутине страха
(Setting: Agrabah at night, just after what appears to be an earthquake. Aladdin and his friends are helping to pull people out of the rubble of the destroyed buildings. Aladdin and Abu have just rescued Omar the merchant.)

Omar: It is terrible! Everything just collapsed! Swallowed by the earth!

(Sultan and Jasmine are looking down at the destruction from a palace balcony.)

Sultan: In all my… Oh, dear. I've never seen such a catastrophe!

Jasmine: Have hope, Father. The rescue parties are doing all they can.

(We can now see the entire area that was destroyed; it looks like a crater in the middle of the city.)

Aladdin: Over here! (points a group of guards towards where he thinks some survivors are)

Genie: (measuring a giant boulder) Let's see… affected area… hmm, big one, all right. Needs a gentle touch. (hits the boulder with a hammer and it splits into two and falls away, freeing four people trapped beneath it)

(Carpet sees a man whose feet are trapped and pulls him out, then flies him to safety.)

(Aladdin and Abu are digging through the rubble, while Iago stands by, yawning.)

Iago: Can't this wait 'till morning? It's not like these people are going anywhere.

Genie: Need a hand?

(Genie zaps the rubble and it all turns into balloons and floats away, carrying Abu with them. A boy and a dog were trapped underneath. The boy hugs Aladdin, while the dog starts licking Iago's face.)

Iago: Aah! Gross! They did it! Lick them! Them!

(Abu, still holding on to a balloon, floats past Farouk the merchant, who is trapped under a wooden beam.)

Abu: Huh?

Farouk: Help! I cannot get out!

(Abu jumps down to the ground, runs to Farouk, and whistles for help.)

Aladdin: (running towards them) Good work, Abu! (tries to lift the beam)

Genie: (as a construction worker) Eh, the boys'll handle this one, Al. (splits into five construction worker Genies)

(From a ruined building, two unknown creatures watch as the Genies get ready to lift the beam.)

Genies: Heave, ho! (lift the beam)

Genie: (looking at a watch) Break!

Genies: All right! (throw the beam into the air and walk away)

(Abu watches where the plank will land, then runs to where Iago is sitting, on one side of a plank of wood, and waves goodbye to him.)

Iago: What?

(The beam lands on the other end of the plank, catapulting Iago into the air.)

(Aladdin helps Farouk to stand.)

Farouk: It took you long enough, street rat! (pushes Aladdin away and leaves)

Abu: Oh, yeah? (starts to run after Farouk)

Aladdin: (stopping Abu) Save your strength, Abu. Others still need our help.

(Carpet flies up to them and starts pointing in one direction. We can then hear someone in that direction calling for help.)

Genie: (approaches them, pointing in the opposite direction) We've got a situation thisaway! …and thataway.

Aladdin: We'll split up. You take Abu. (jumps on Carpet and flies toward where the cry came from)

Genie: We need to do some heavy lifting.

(Abu flexes his biceps.)

Genie: Close, but no cigar. (turns Abu into an elephant)

(Aladdin flies down towards where a woman is calling for help. We can see another one of the strange creatures hiding in a building behind her.)

(Jasmine is with the boy and dog that were saved earlier; they can hear the woman's cries for help.)

Boy: My mama's out there!

Jasmine: It's all right. We'll find your mother.

Boy: But what if the Unkbuut find her first? They'll eat her!

Jasmine: (hugs the boy) I know it's dark and scary, but the Unkbuut aren't real. They're just a fairy tale.

Boy: But I saw them! They're out there!

(Aladdin and Carpet have found the trapped woman.)

Woman: Over here!

Aladdin: Nice going, Carpet! (they fly down to her)

Sultan: (standing near Jasmine, looking down into the crater) There are untold layers of ancient Agrabah under our modern city. Anything could be down there.

(Aladdin helps the woman onto Carpet.)

Aladdin: Watch your footing, now.

(Carpet starts to fly the woman out of the crater. As soon as he leaves, the ground beneath Aladdin crumbles.)

Aladdin: (coughing) I'm okay, Carpet! Just get her away before anything else collapses! (tries to pull himself free of what looks like spider webs)

(Elephant Abu carries three men out of the crater.)

Jasmine: Genie, did you see anything strange out there? This boy said something about—

Boy: Mama!

(Carpet is bringing the rescued woman over to them. The boy runs up to her and hugs her.)

Boy: I'm so happy the Unkbuut didn't eat you!

Woman: Silly, that's just a tale.

Boy: But I saw them!

Jasmine: (worried) Where's Aladdin?

(Aladdin has just gotten loose from the spider webs when he sees two giant spiders approaching him.)

Aladdin: Unkbuut! (tries to jump out of the hole he's fallen into, but it's too deep) Carpet!

(Setting: back on the streets of Agrabah, a little while later. Aladdin is just regaining consciousness, and Genie is waving a hand in front of his face. They're surrounded by a crowd of people.)

Genie: Al! Buddy! How many finger do you see?

Jasmine: Aladdin, what happened?

Aladdin: It was the Unkbuut.

Crowd: (gasps) Unkbuut!

Abu: Unkbuut?

Omar: They caused the cave-in!

Farouk: They will surely eat us all!

Iago: There goes the neighborhood! So, what happened? They whack you senseless? They get you with their venomous fangs?

Aladdin: Actually… I think I fainted.

(Someone in the crowd laughs.)

Iago: Fainted? You fainted? Cap'n Rescue here fainted! (laughs)

Jasmine: I think Aladdin's been through enough, don't you?

Genie: Yeah! (quietly) You fainted? Come on, Al. You've whupped dragons, mud giants, Lex Luthor… no, that was Superman.

Aladdin: I don't know, Genie. Stories about the Unkbuut always gave me the creeps. Then there they were, so close I could feel their breath on my skin!

Genie: (shuddering) Good thing rug-man here saved you!

Sultan: So, the tales are true.

Jasmine: We must do something, Father. (to the crowd) Rest assured, you will all be safe. The palace guards will be posted around the crater.

(Setting: later that night. Tents have been set up for those whose homes have been destroyed. A group of men are standing around a fire.)

Omar: (nervous) Surely there are worse ways to die than be eaten by ferocious Unkbuut. Right?

(The other men shake their heads.)

Man: No, I don't think so.

Farouk: This is the most— (sees a giant spider shadow) Aah! Unkbuut!

Omar: Unkbuut? (points to the small spider near the fire that's casting the huge shadow) It is a itsy-bitsy spider!

(All the men but Farouk laugh.)

Farouk: Just wait until the Unkbuut carry you away to be eaten!

(Setting: A palace balcony. Jasmine is looking down at the crater, and Rajah is with her. They then go inside. Rajah notices a piece of spider web that's fallen on the ground. He looks up and sees an Unkbuut lowering itself down from the ceiling, toward Jasmine. He jumps up to attack it, but it spits webbing at him, trapping him to the ground.

Jasmine: (gasps) Rajah!

(When Rajah is completely covered with webbing, the Unkbuut turns toward Jasmine. She pulls a curtain down on top of it and runs away, but it cuts its way out and comes after her. She picks up the curtain rod and starts hitting the giant spider with it. It knocks her back, but she picks up the rod again and pole vaults over it.)

Sultan: (entering the room) Jasmine?

(Jasmine runs towards a door and almost makes it, but she is hit with webbing and stuck in place.)

Jasmine: No!

Sultan: Jasmine!

(The Unkbuut finishes covering Jasmine with webbing, picks her up, and jumps off the balcony with her.)

Sultan: Jasmine?

(Setting: the streets of Agrabah. The group of men are still gathered around the fire.)

Omar: Well now, perhaps the Unkbuut really are just children's tales. Perhaps Aladdin was just overtired and only thought he saw one.

(The Unkbuut carrying Jasmine on its back runs up to the fire and rears up at them menacingly. The men all scream and run away. The Unkbuut then heads toward the crater, but some guards are in its way.)

Rasoul: Stand firm, men!

(The Unkbuut spits webs at the guards so they can't move, then runs down into the crater, still carrying Jasmine.)

(Setting: near the crater. Aladdin has just found out that Jasmine has been kidnapped.)

Aladdin: Jasmine… Let's go!

(Aladdin, Carpet, Genie, Abu, and Iago fly down into the crater.)

Iago: We need options! The guards! They get paid to do stuff like this!

(They are flying through a dark tunnel underneath the city.)

Aladdin: I can't see anything!

Genie: (turns into a lantern and shines in the others' eyes)

Aladdin and Iago: Genie!

Genie: Whoops! Sorry! (turns to face forward)

(They can now see a spider web blocking the tunnel ahead of them, but it's too late to avoid hitting it. Carpet gets stuck, and the others fall off and land on the tunnel floor. They can then hear the sound of an Unkbuut, and see the shadow of one approaching Carpet.)

Aladdin: Carpet!

Genie: Hang on, rug-man!

(The tunnel collapses beneath them. Genie turns into a mattress and breaks their fall.)

Genie: Magically crafted, the Genie-pedric mattress gives support where you most need it!

(Aladdin has landed on top of Iago.)

Iago: My aching back!

Genie: Head count! 1, 2, 3, 4… where's rug-man?

Aladdin: (shouting) Carpet!

Iago: (scared) Al? There's somethin' here you oughta see.

(A long line of Unkbuut are marching through the underground city. Each is carrying something wrapped in webbing on its back.)

Aladdin: That's a lot of Unkbuut!

Genie: (shudders) Boy, makes my skin crawl. You must be feeling swell.

Iago: Just like the fairy tales! They're wrapping people in those cocoons so they can feed them to their slimy baby Unkbuut larvae!

Genie: You don't suppose the Unkbuut eat carpets, do you? I mean, what with the high hairball risk factor and all.

Aladdin: I don't know, but the sure thing is Jasmine's in danger. We have to get in there somehow.

(Genie takes the form of an Unkbuut, carries the others on his back inside a cocoon, and follows the other Unkbuut.)

Genie: Okay, we're in the army now! Left! Left! Left, right, left!

Iago: Quit crowding! I hate to be crowded just before I'm eaten by Unkbuut!

(Aladdin and Abu give him funny looks.)

Iago: Look, it's a bird thing!

Aladdin: Shh!

(The Unkbuut walk across a giant web. Other Unkbuut lower themselves down from the ceiling and take the cocoons from the others.)

Aladdin: Genie, what's happening?

Genie: There's a whole city down here! It's like Chicago, only with Unkbuut!

Aladdin: Are there… a lot of them?

Genie: Yeah! …I mean, just a couple! How you holdin' up, buddy?

Aladdin: Don't worry about me! Keep looking for Jasmine!

Genie: Don't sweat it, Al! If she's here, I'll find her! Nothin's getting by this genie!

(While Genie was talking, an Unkbuut took the cocoon off his back and rose up into the air with it.)

Aladdin: Whoa, what's going on? Genie? Genie?

Iago: The jig is up! Any second now, stab! Fangs! Venom!

Aladdin: Shh! I'll take a look!

(Aladdin makes a hole in the cocoon and looks out of it, and sees the face of the Unkbuut holding him. It makes a screeching sound when it sees him.)

Genie: Gee, Al, sounds like… (notices his cocoon is missing) Al? Al!

(Aladdin kicks the Unkbuut in the face. It drops him, and he starts falling down toward the giant web. The Unkbuut and the cocoon containing Iago and Abu fall after him. Aladdin grabs the edge of the web, but the others fall through the center of it.)

Aladdin: Abu!

(The Unkbuut grabs a rope of spider silk to stop its fall. Carpet appears out of nowhere and catches Abu and Iago.)

Iago: I'm really glad to see they don't eat carpets!

(The Unkbuut who fell climbs back up towards Aladdin. Aladdin tries to get away from it, but has trouble keeping his balance walking on the spider web)

Aladdin: Genie!

Genie: Alley-oop! (turns into an acrobat, somersaults towards Aladdin, then hands him a pole to help him keep his balance)

(Several other Unkbuut see Aladdin and Genie and start advancing towards them.)

Aladdin: No! Get away! (swings the pole at the Unkbuut)

(Suddenly a high-pitched, rhythmic whistling sound starts. The Unkbuut stop in their tracks and start swaying back and forth to the beat.)

Aladdin: What're they doing?

Iago: It's not the hokey pokey!

Genie: The bird's right! The hokey pokey never looked like this! (points up)

(An even larger Unkbuut, over twice the size of the others, is climbs down towards them.)

Aladdin: No one move!

Iago: Tell you what: you don't move, I'll be over there.

Genie: Relax, Al. This one's mine! (walks over to the giant Unkbuut and turns into a can of bug spray)

Jasmine: No! Wait!

Aladdin: Jasmine?

(Jasmine slides down a rope of spider silk and lands on the back of the giant Unkbuut.)

Aladdin: Jasmine, jump clear!

Jasmine: No, no! They're our friends!

Iago: Yeah, she's cracked.

(The Unkbuut reaches a front leg towards Aladdin.)

Iago: It's gonna eat us!

(Genie jumps in front of Aladdin. The Unkbuut's leg touches his chest.)

Genie: (laughing) Hey, that tickles!

Jasmine: They don't want to eat anybody!

(Setting: back on the surface, in the tent city)

Farouk: We all know the Unkbuut feast on human flesh!

(A crowd around Farouk shouts and waves their fists.)

Farouk: We cannot let them eat our helpless children! Our children are not safe as long as even one Unkbuut lives!

Crowd: Yes!

Farouk: I say we get them first! Who's with me?

Crowd: We are!

(Setting: the underground Unkbuut city. Carpet pets a baby Unkbuut. It then wanders over to Abu, who blows it a raspberry. The baby then spits webbing on Abu's face and wanders over to Jasmine.)

Jasmine: They're gentle creatures!

Iago: Gentle?! They took you by force!

Jasmine: Only so they could show me they mean no harm to Agrabah.

Aladdin: But, the cocoon!

Jasmine: They're filled with potatoes. (opens up a cocoon to show them) They're farmers! Vegetarians. They were tunneling for potatoes when they caused the cave in.

Iago: Aha! It was their fault!

Jasmine: It was an accident! They were in an ancient section where the ground had rotted away.

Genie: (to the giant Unkbuut, shouting) We are from the surface world!

(The Unkbuut nods and points upwards.)

Aladdin: She must be their queen!

Jasmine: I think so. I just wish I could understand them better.

Genie: (still talking to the Unkbuut queen, holding fingers on each side of his head like horns) Tatonka! Buffalo! Tatonka!

Aladdin: Wait 'till Agrabah hears about this!

(Setting: on the surface. Farouk is leading a mob who are all carrying torches toward the crater.)

Farouk: Burn the Unkbuut!

Rasoul: Halt! No one enters the disaster zone!

(The mob push the guards out of the way.)

Farouk: Burn the Unkbuut! Bring the lamp oil!

(A group of women bring big jars of oil and pour it into the crater. The men then throw in their torches, setting everything in the crater ablaze.)

(Setting: underground. Iago is examining a cocoon filled with potatoes.)

Iago: Potatoes. Those children's stories are never gonna be the same.

(The Unkbuut queen is talking with Genie. It makes screeching sounds at him, and he responds with "meep meep" sounds.)

Jasmine: What'd she say, Genie?

Genie: Haven't the foggiest. But they are friendly critters! (pushes Aladdin towards the queen) It's okay, Al. Come on! Big hug!

Aladdin: (nervously) Uh, that's okay. (backs away) Do you smell something? Smoke!

(On the surface)

Farouk: Burn them!

(The tunnels are filling up with smoke. The Unkbuut frantically try to run away from it.)

Aladdin: We've got to get to the surface. Fast!

Genie: (turns into a racecar) Get in! I'll drive. (looks at a road map) Hmm, Magnolia… Lancashire Boulevard… June, ask the man where we are!

(Carpet, in the driver's seat, honks the horn.)

(Jasmine, carrying the baby Unkbuut, jumps on the Unkbuut queen's back.)

Jasmine: Come on! She can get us there faster than anything!

Aladdin: Uh, I'll follow on Carpet.

(The Unkbuut queen, carrying Jasmine and the baby, leads the way to the surface, and the others follow her. Avoiding falling rocks, they finally reach the crater. All the collapsed buildings inside of it are on fire.)

Rasoul: (pushing through the mob surrounding the crater) Make way! Make way for the sultan!

Sultan: What are they doing?! Jasmine is down there!

(Genie and everyone on Carpet fly out of the crater, but the Unkbuut queen is trapped by the flames and cries out for help.)

Aladdin: We've gotta stop this fire!

(Genie turns into a firefighter holding a hose attached to a hydrant. Nothing comes out of the hose.)

Genie: What, no water? Now all the plants will die! Aha, there's the problem! Fake hydrant!

(The Unkbuut queen leaps out of the crater. The mob cowers in fear.)

Jasmine: Don't be afraid! They mean no harm!

Sultan: Jasmine!

Farouk: Do not listen! She is under their spell! Feed the flames, monster! (throws a torch at the Unkbuut)

Woman: My boy! Where is my boy!

(The boy from earlier is standing on the edge of the crater watching the fire, while his dog tries to pull him away. The ground beneath them crumbles, and they fall into the crater.)

Boy: Mama!

(Carpet tries to fly in and save the boy, but he is singed by the fire and has to fly back out of the crater so Abu can put him out.)

(Genie turns into a giant drill and drills into the earth, but doesn't find any water.)

Genie: No water! What a rip! (gets an idea) Wait! Ocean! (flies away)

Boy: Mama!

Rasoul: There is no way through!

(The Unkbuut queen motions for Aladdin to climb up on her back, and he does.)

Aladdin: Let's do it!

(The queen jumps from building to building in the crater, leaping over the flames toward the boy. She shoots a rope of webbing toward the boy, then climbs down it.)

Boy: Aah! Unkbuut!

Aladdin: It's okay, she won't hurt you!

(Genie arrives at the ocean, jumps into the water, and spins around quickly, creating a tornado of water.)

(Back at the crater, Aladdin is climbing a rope of spider silk down towards the trapped boy and dog.)

Woman: My boy!

Jasmine: Come on, Aladdin!

Aladdin: (reaching down to the boy) Come on! You can do it!

Iago: I can't look! (covers Abu's face)

Abu: Hey!

(The boy grabs Aladdin's hand, and he pulls him up onto the rope with him.)

Jasmine: He's got him! (hugs the boy's mother)

Farouk: (cheering) The Unkbuut did it! He did it! I knew that they would… (trails off, looking shamefaced)

(Aladdin, the boy, and the dog have climbed back up onto the Unkbuut's back, but they now see that one side of the web bridge has caught on fire.)

Aladdin: The web!

(The web breaks, and the Unkbuut queen falls down into the crater. Aladdin climbs the other side of the web and carries the boy and dog to safety.)

Woman: My son! Oh, my son! (hugs the boy)

(Jasmine runs to Aladdin. The baby Unkbuut looks over the edge of the crater and makes sad noises.)

Aladdin: The queen?

(Genie arrives with the seawater and dumps it into the crater, putting out the fires.)

Genie: (as a lifeguard) All right! Everybody out of the pool!

(The Unkbuut queen climbs out of the crater, wet but unharmed. The crowd cheers.)

Farouk: I knew it! I said it all along!

Boy: Yes!

Jasmine: (to Aladdin) I'm so proud of you, jumping on the back of a big hairy Unkbuut like that! (hugs him)

Aladdin: Hey, I did, didn't I? (walks over to the Unkbuut queen and her baby) I know you can't understand me, but I just want to say thank you.

Woman: I think it's far past your bedtime.

Boy: Okay, but tell me a bedtime story. A happy one! All about the Unkbuut.

THE END

30. Rain of Terror / Местами осадки
(Setting: the rainforest in the Valley of Thundra. Genie has tied his hair and tail to trees like a hammock, and is writing a letter.)

Genie: "Dear Al, Greetings from the rainforest. Never has a place been more aptly named."

(There's a flash of lightning. A dark cloud appears overhead, and it starts to pour.)

Genie: "Everyday is a rainy day in the scenic valley of Thundra."

(The cloud passes by, and the rain stops.)

Genie: "But, Iago and Abu seem to be having fun."

(Abu swings by on a vine, then unties Genie's hair, knocking him against the other tree.)

Genie: "By the way, Abu met with an unfortunate accident." (zaps Abu) "But nothing to worry about. As for Iago, let's just say there's a tropical heat wave steaming up his heart. But Thundra is so swamped with the weather gig, Iago can hardly keep up."

(Thundra is flying across the rainforest, while Iago struggles to keep up with her.)

Iago: Thundra! ?Un momento!

Thundra: (landing on a cloud) Patience, my lovebird. (takes a book and pen out from under her wing and starts checking off things in the book) Hail, si. Sleet, si. Howling winds, si si.

Iago: (landing on a nearby cloud, exhausted) Advanced aerobics, si! Done already, Thundra, dear?

Thundra: (chuckles) Not used to a hard day's work, eh, giblet?

Iago: You think runnin' Agrabah isn't hard work? Without me around the sultan wouldn't know how to tie his turban in the morning.

(Genie and Abu are now floating on a nearby cloud. Abu starts laughing.)

Genie: Abu! If the all-powerful Iago is here, how will the kingdom survive!? There'll be panic in the streets!

Iago: (whispering to Genie) Do you mind? I have a certain image I'm fabricating here!

Thundra: At least Iago can take a vacation and leave his royal responsibilities to others…

Genie: Yeah, Rajah will have to clean his own litter box this week! (he and Abu start laughing)

Iago: Come on, who couldn't do your job? You line up the clouds, chirp out the cities, and wham!

Thundra: Iago, mi amor, it is not so simple.

Iago: What could be so difficult?

Thundra: Once, my weather powers belonged to another. One who abused the powers. I defeated the fiend to save my rainforest. Once I took the medallion from him, I understood that its power had a purpose.

Iago: What purpose? You make it rain.

Thundra: The world's weather is an intricate web of natural forces. And everything I learned I put in this book.

Iago: Okay, so the last guy who had the job couldn't cut it, and you're a natural.

Thundra: It's not the job, it's the responsibility. Not everyone can handle so much power without being corrupted.

Iago: You're talkin' about me, aren't ya?!

Genie: If the implied insult fits…

Iago: Thundra, I am responsibility! You can take a vacation! I'll fill in.

Thundra: A little time off in the sun… just for the weekend, maybe…

Iago: Thundra, take a three-day weekend! I'll run the show.

Thundra: Oh, Iago, you are so sweet, but… Oh, ?mi amor! (kisses him) ?Absolutamente! I'll do it!

(Below them, hidden in the forest, a giant feathered serpent is eavesdropping on them)

Serpent: Yes…

(Later that day, Iago is following Thundra again.)

Thundra: Now listen closely: you'll read the weather reports from my book, and command the clouds to take the precipitation from the filling station to—

Iago: Thundra, will I get to wear the rainbow tail? I mean, having magical powers is fine, but looking good on the job, that's priority number one!

(Thundra rolls her eyes.)

(Later, Thundra is finished giving Iago instructions, and they both land on the ground next to Genie and Abu.)

Thundra: Iago, dear, I'm trusting you. (hugs him)

Iago: Come on, you're crushing my wing.

Genie: ?Atencion, por favor! (There's now an airport next to them, and Genie is dressed as an airline pilot) All legendary rainbirds prepare for immediate departure! (a metal detector appears in front of Thundra) Now, Thundra, you're booked straight through to Mazatlan.

(Thundra walks through the metal detector carrying Iago; it goes off. Genie takes Iago from her and puts him through the x-ray machine.)

Genie: Oh, skycap! (turns Abu into one; a giant chest appears over his head for him to carry)

Thundra: (holding out the medallion to Iago) Now remember, Iago—

Iago: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah… power, responsibility, I know the drill.

Thundra: I expect you to guard this medallion with all your courage. For 48 hours you are the keeper of the world's weather. (gives him the medallion)

Iago: (putting it on) It's a weekend, who needs rain anyway? I mean, people picnic. Kidding! Relax, I'll handle it.

Thundra: Bueno, mi amor. (kisses him)

Iago: Do you mind? We've got an audience here.

Thundra: Adios, mi amigos. (flies away)

(Iago flies around wearing the medallion; he is trailed by a rainbow.)

Iago: Get a load of me, I'm Mr. Rainbow!

Genie: (to Abu) Quite a colorful character, eh? I just hope all this power doesn't go to his head.

Abu: Oh boy.

Iago: Imagine, all the weather powers of the world around my neck! Are you imagining?! (laughs maniacally)

Genie: Iago with power. It's not a pretty picture.

(A little while later, Iago is reading Thundra's book, while Genie and Abu watch.)

Iago: Okay, let's see how this works. (whistles, and a cloud comes up to him) I order you to drizzle!

(The cloud does nothing. Abu whispers something to Genie.)

Genie: Oh, your royal rainbirdness! Abu suggests you tell the cloud where to drizzle!

Iago: How about a spring shower in the vicinity of Monkeytown!

(The cloud rains on Abu. More clouds come up to Iago; it starts to get dark.)

Iago: What's this? Thunderstorm warning in the southern regions of Genie.

(Lightning strikes Genie's behind.)

Iago: (rolling around on the cloud with laughter) Now I'm warmed up, let's skip ahead to the heavy artillery! (flips ahead in the book) Ooh, this one sounds recklessly powerful. I call forth the icy blast of the arctic winds!

(A giant fist-shaped gust of wind hits Iago, knocking him off the cloud. Genie catches the book. Iago hits the ground, frozen solid. Iago approaches him, as an ice cream vendor.)

Genie: Try our newest Parrotsicle flavor, Ego Crunch! (to Abu) Did Thundra say she'd be gone the whole weekend?

Iago: (shaking off the ice) Who needs her? These rainbird powers are no biggie!

Serpent: That's right, mi amigo. Who needs Thundra? I am Malcho.

Iago: And I am the acting rainbird.

Malcho: I know. Word travels fast in my rainforest, yes?

Iago: Your rainforest? No no no. I control the rain. I have the rainbow tail. I wear the medallion!

Malcho: (flies up into the air, we can now see that he has huge black wings) Things change, mi amigos!

Iago: How can he fly?! Snakes can't fly! I don't like him.

Genie: You're the ruler of the rainforest. Show him what you've got!

Iago: That's right. Why worry if the local wildlife has a bad attitude? I've got power! Face the might of a monsoon, fiend!

(A giant cloud appears over Malcho and starts raining on him. Malcho drinks the rain.)

Malcho: Very refreshing.

Iago: Okay, Genie, what's next?

Malcho: Next? Ah, yes. Now I reclaim my weather powers.

Iago: So, you're the chump Thundra beat out for the job?

Malcho: She lies. I was robbed. Robbed, on the brink of world domination.

Genie: Well, that would explain all your pent-up anger. (flips through the book) Maybe there's an index. Glossary? Pictures?

Iago: Here's one: I summon the blistering winds of the Santa Ana! (a whirlwind appears in front of Malcho) That'll teach him to mess with me—

(The whirlwind changes direction and hits Genie, Abu, and Iago, carrying them away.)

Malcho: Buffoon Iago will be no problem. Thundra might as well have just given me the powers, yes? (laughs)

(Later, Iago is studying the book again.)

Iago: That snake better wise up. Iago the rainbird fears nothing! (there's a clap of thunder) He's back!

Genie: No snake guy, but it looks like rush hour started early.

(A bunch of clouds are all crowded around the waterfall.)

Iago: Ugh, I'm late for work. (flies down towards the clouds) Make way for the rainbird! (starts pushing the clouds around) Okay, one at a time, single file! (looks in the book) Okay, let's see what today's weather map says. Thunderstorms and hurricanes go north, blizzards and hail southbound.

Genie: Snow in the south? Is that weather map upside down?

Iago: No, the map is not upside down, that would mean the book is upside— (turns the book around) Heh, common mistake, could happen to anyone!

(Setting: a tropical beach. Thundra is lying in a palm tree, drinking out of a coconut shell.)

Thundra: Ah, the sand and sea, ooh, and sun. And best of all, no rain.

(Suddenly dark storm clouds block the sun, and it starts to pour.)

Thundra: Iago!

(Setting: back at the waterfall, Iago is still pushing clouds around.)

Iago: What's with you slackers?! Go precipitate somewhere!

Genie: (to Abu) I'm not sure the world's weather can take another day with Iago in charge. Maybe we should read up on this weather scene and help Iago out. Abu, hand me that book, please.

(Abu tries to hand the book to Genie, but Malcho, unseen, knocks it out of his hands.)

Genie: Be right back! (dives after the book)

Malcho: (appearing behind Abu) Malcho has returned, mi amigos!

Iago: May the rains of the— (Malcho snatches the medallion) Cheap clasp!

Malcho: Mine! The power is back, back to the rightful ruler of the rain! (storm clouds start to gather behind him)

Genie: (reading) "Chapter One: The rainforest is your friend." (looks up and sees Malcho) Maybe there'll be time for a review later on.

(Thundra arrives and flies toward them.)

Thundra: (seeing Malcho) ?Ay carumba! Malcho! He has my medallion?!

Iago: In a word, yeah.

Malcho: At last, Thundra, the reign of the rainbird is over! Let the season of the serpent begin! Thundra, so careful with her power. But now, the world will squirm! I have the power!

Genie: Did someone say power? (turns into a superhero) Face some semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic genie power!

Malcho: I think not! (strikes Genie with lightning) Now, out with the old!

(Malcho blows the others out of the sky with a gust of wind; they fall towards the bottom of the waterfall. Genie grabs them and magics them into a barrel. When they land, the barrel turns into the Jungle Cruise boat from Disneyland. As Malcho dives after them, the boat goes behind the waterfall.)

Genie: (as the tour guide) Hey folks, here's a rare treat on our rainforest river cruise. Look, the backside of water!

(Malcho goes after them, and the boat comes out through the waterfall.)

Genie: That concludes our tour! (speeds away down the river)

Malcho: No! No one escapes Malcho!

Genie: And now we come to the most dangerous part of our journey: the drive home!

(They hit the riverbank and are thrown off the boat.)

Thundra: We don't have much time! That evil serpent won't stop until he's destroyed me!

Iago: Tough break, Thundra. Can we drop you somewhere on the way back to Agrabah?

Thundra: I trusted my rainforest to you! You told me you knew what you were doing!

Genie: Airborne snake at 12 o'clock high!

(Malcho appears overhead and shoots lightning at them, but they get away before it hits.)

Iago: (as they are all flying away from Malcho) Okay, I'll admit this one. I didn't take the job seriously, and I didn't really pay attention to what you said about how to use the weather power! And…

Genie: And?

Iago: And now I want somebody to make it all better.

Genie: I'll do my best! (creates foliage to cover them) Everybody, blend in.

(Malcho flies past, not seeing them.)

Malcho: The genie is swift. He has swept the victims from my grasp. For now. (leaves)

Genie: All clear! Move out!

Thundra: Come, we will hide under the cover of my rainforest.

Iago: Hiding is good! I'm a top notch hider!

(Later, in the rainforest, Genie bends a palm tree over and ties the top of it to the ground. They all hide under the hanging palm leaves. Thundra is not speaking to Iago.)

Iago: (to Thundra) We can't live in the past, honey. Especially the immediate past.

(Abu chatters something to Genie.)

Genie: You're right, hair boy, he's sunk. (to Thundra) Thundra, this is Iago you're talking about. When he said he was reliable, he meant reliable in a deceitful, conniving kind of way.

(Iago nods. Thundra crosses her wings, still angry.)

Iago: Genie's right. I am deceitful, conniving, and sneaky. (to himself) When in doubt, go with your strengths…

(Malcho flies past, searching for them.)

Malcho: I know you're close, Thundra. Dangerously close.

Thundra: Where did Iago go?

Genie: I don't think he's the one to worry about!

Iago: (from outside) Yo stretch!

Genie: Then again…

Iago: Yeah, you! The long, sinister, reptilian guy. (Malcho grabs him with his tail) Oof! Easy, I've got a deal for ya.

Malcho: A defector? You wish to join my side?

Iago: You want Thundra, right?

Malcho: Oh, I do!

Iago: And the genie, too, huh?

Malcho: Sssssi.

Iago: Signed, sealed, and delivered! (unties the rope holding the palm tree down, exposing the others) They're yours!

(Setting: later, Malcho has created a giant Mesoamerican-style pyramid of clouds, with Thundra, Abu, and Genie at the top.)

Genie: Ha! Some prison, Malcho! You forgot the bars! (he tries to walk out, but is struck by lightning) Lightning bars. I knew that.

Malcho: (to Iago) The idea of a sidekick is rather intriguing.

Iago: Oh, please… I prefer to be considered a toadying sycophant!

Malcho: I do tire so of talking to myself. Hatching this evil scheme. Brainstorming that one.

Iago: Hey, I've toadied under the best. References available upon request.

Malcho: And if a scheme fails, perhaps I'll slap you around a bit, yes? Please?

Iago: Oh, sure! Have a party!

Malcho: I envision a storm to end all storms. One for the history books, my little flunky!

Iago: But first, we get rid of them.

Malcho: And how do you propose we get rid of them, my insignificant lackey?

Iago: Well, Thundra's little book has some juicy spells in it. Picture this: torrential rain for forty days!

Malcho: And nights, yes?!

Iago: Eh, I don't work nights.

Genie: Not the book!

Thundra: You cannot do this!

Genie: Yeah, I caught it when it fell, and, you know, finders keepers and all that stuff.

Iago: Maestro, a little wind, please!

(Malcho creates a gust of wind, knocking the book out of Genie's hands. Iago catches it.)

Iago: Hey, Genie? Losers weepers and all that stuff!

Thundra: That book unlocks all of my most powerful secrets!

Iago: Ha! That's the point, sweetheart. (takes the book back to Malcho and opens it.) Hoohoo! This spell here is great! I gave the monkey a shower, now that was rich!

Abu: Why you! (chatters angrily)

Malcho: A shower? Ha! The all-powerful Malcho demands a torrential downpour! (it starts to rain heavily over the top of the pyramid)

Iago: Uh, yeah, that's how it went. More or less.

Genie: This I can handle. (creates an umbrella and holds it over them, but it is struck by lightning and destroyed)

Iago: (flips the page) And then I made this little lightning zap that hit the genie! Pow! Ha ha! Oh, I really got him that time!

Genie: I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for this. That explanation is: Iago's a louse!

Malcho: Lightning, yes! A proper frying would be a fitting end for the almighty rainbird!

Iago: NO! I mean, uh, Thundra is old and tough!

Thundra: The parrot will pay!

Iago: You'll need something special to destroy Thundra, and here's the one: the arctic blast!

Malcho: ?Bueno! ?Bueno!

Genie: Wait a minute! That's the spell that… Iago!

Thundra: (covering Genie's mouth) Oh, Iago, mi amor, I knew you would not desert me!

Iago: You need a lotta room for this one. (backs far away from Malcho)

Malcho: Yesssss! Malcho calls forth the blast of the arctic wind! Ha ha ha! (is hit by the arctic blast) Aaah!

(The blast knocks the medallion off of Malcho; Iago catches it.)

Malcho: Traitor! (is knocked into the waterfall, where he is frozen in a giant icicle)

Iago: That sucker packs a punch! I seem to have tricked you, yes?

(The pyramid disappears, and the others fly up to Iago. Iago places the medallion around Thundra's neck.)

Iago: There, chalk one up for the conniving parrot!

Thundra: ?Gracias, mi amor! (kisses him)

Genie: Excuse me, you two lovebirds, I've got a job to do! (picks up the frozen waterfall) He's cold-blooded. The north pole oughta suit him fine. (throws the icicle over the horizon)

(Setting: later, Iago and Thundra are by the waterfall)

Thundra: Ah, back to normal…

Genie: (flies up to Thundra and Iago, carrying luggage) I packed! You ready?

(There's a sound coming from one of the bags. Genie unzips it and Abu is inside.)

Genie: If you're there, where's my brown suit? (zips Abu back inside) Adios, Thundra! (flies away)

Iago: Uh, th-there goes my ride, I better catch up…

Thundra: Before you go, I just want to say, gracias.

Iago: For being a lousy rainbird?

Thundra: For just being lousy. I needed a hero who was deceitful, conniving, and sneaky to defeat Malcho.

Iago: Thank you! I think.

THE END

32. Seems Like Old Crimes, Part 1 / Кто прошлое помянет, 1 часть
(Setting: Inside of the Temple of Destiny)

(The Destiny Stone rests on a pedestal. The Guardian of the Destiny Stone comes forward as the Stone begins to glow red, like it is about to burst.)

Guardian: (Ducks away from the light) No, it cannot be!

(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah)

Guardian: Once you helped me in the Temple of Destiny, Aladdin. I must ask for your help again.

Genie: Temple of Destiny? Nope, didn't happen. I'd remember that.

Iago: Nice try to get some free labor, but we've never been there.

Aladdin: I have, and so has Abu. Long before we knew any of you.

Guardian: The Destiny Stone has cracked. And from inside the stone came voices. Their voices.

Aladdin: They're alive in the Destiny Stone? Is that possible?

Jasmine: Who's alive? And what's a Destiny Stone?

Guardian: The Destiny Stone is a cross-roads of fate; in its presence commoners become kings, cowards become heroes.

Genie: (Turns into Geppetto) Can it turn my little wooden head into a real boy? (Turns Iago into Pinocchio)

Iago: Hey!

Genie: (Turns into King Triton) Or how about a mermaid into a biped? (Turns Iago into Ariel)

Iago: Hey!

(Genie changes himself and Iago back to normal)

Guardian: The full power of the Stone is shrouded in mystery.

Jasmine: What does this have to do with you, Aladdin? How do you know this man?

Aladdin: It was a long time ago.

Abu: Uh huh.

(The setting now becomes a flashback. In the middle of the market place, a stage is erected. A group of people stand near, watching.)

Aladdin (Voice over): A small band of entertainers had just come to Agrabah. (The camera shifts to the stage) Aziz was their master of mystical arts.

Aziz: Privy to the secrets of the Samarian yogis I am. (Does some flips) See how I am completely impervious to fire. (He appears to be walking on hot coals. The crowd gasps and awes)

Aladdin (Voice over) : At least, that's what he told he told everybody. (The camera reveals Aziz walking on a slab of plain coal in between two rows of hot coals) That guy put the fake in fakir. (The camera shifts upward, to a woman walking on a tightrope) Fatima was the band's acrobat.

Female Audience Member: She's as beautiful as a dove.

Male Audience Member: And quick as a hawk.

(The camera shifts to a large man holding a pedestal)

Aladdin (Voice over): And Minos was their leader.

(Fatima jumps off the tightrope and lands on the pedestal held by Minos; he holds it up with one hand)

Male Audience Member 2: He is as strong as a bull!

Aladdin (Voice over): But their real money maker was a clever little monkey named...

Iago (Voice over): Oh, don't tell me.

(Abu, looking the same except for the lack of a fez, begins robbing audience members)

(Minos and Fatima run onto the stage)

Minos: (Bowing) Many thanks! Your applause is our greatest reward.

Fatima: Now watch as Aziz shares with you more of his mystic power.

(Minos and Fatima walk behind the curtain. Abu follows; he is holding a pouch.)

Minos: Gimme that loot! (Takes the pouch from Abu)

Abu: Hey!

Minos: (Dumps the gold from the pouch into his hand) Well, Abu, it's about time you pulled your weight around here. (Pulls an earring from the pile in his hand)

Fatima: Let me see it. (Takes the earring from Minos) Where's the other earring? (Holds it up to the light) Brass? Brass turns my ears green. I need gold! (Throws the earring at Abu)

Minos: Is that the best you can do? (Minos picks up Abu) You mangy beast, go back out there and get something good, something gold!

(Throws Abu toward the exit)

Aziz: (Still on stage; wrapped in chains) For years I trained with the monks of Ghanistan to perform this feat. Silence, please. (Aziz struggles; he can't escape the chains) Snag... just a moment. (He continues to struggle, with no success; he falls over) Ow...

(The crowd bursts into laughter)

Male Audience Member 3: I did not realize comedy was part of their act. (Continues to laugh)

(Abu exits the curtain, sulking)

Abu: Ohh.... (Abu begins taking money from audience members)

(Abu robs two people; on the third, the man turns around and grabs him)

Aladdin: Hey, that's mine you little thief! (Abu bites Aladdin; Abu starts running) Ow! You can't get away from me, monkey. (Aladdin chases him into the marketplace) Huh, where'd he go? (Aladdin sees a tail sticking out of a man's turban; Aladdin pulls the man's turban off)

Abu: Uh oh.

Aladdin: Gotcha! (Aladdin slams the turban down; Abu dodges)

Man: Ow!

(Aladdin continues to chase Abu; Abu runs onto a banana cart, squirting Aladdin in the eye)

Aladdin: Hey! (Aladdin jumps onto the cart, missing Abu) You are in real trouble now.

(Abu scampers up the side of a building; Aladdin grabs a wooden pole and pole-vaults up the side of the building, making it to the roof moments before Abu)

Aladdin: (Grabs Abu) Ha, got ya!

Abu: Uh oh!

(A woman sticks her head out the window. She screams and begins attacking Aladdin and Abu with a broom. Abu escapes Aladdin and starts running around the roof, Aladdin in pursuit. The woman starts throwing dishes at them)

Woman: Get out! Shoo, you beasts! Get away, filthy creatures!

(On stage, Aziz escapes the chains)

Aziz: Ta da! (The crowd cheers; dishes began flying onto the stage) Whoa!

Man: Falling crockery!

(The crowd runs away; Minos and Fatima come from behind the curtain)

Aziz: Dimwit monkey!

Woman: (To Aladdin and Abu) You animals!

Minos: The monkey and that scrawny kid scared away our audience.

Fatima: Ah, but look at the boy. He's fast enough to keep up with Abu.

Minos: Is he fast enough to avoid my fists? (Minos approaches the building)

Aziz: Oooh... I smell a slaughter coming.

(Aladdin grabs Abu; he jumps off the roof, bounces on some awnings, and lands on the ground.)

Aladdin: Hands off my money, monkey.

Minos: Hands off my monkey, beggar! Or you won't have any hands to beg with. (Abu escapes Aladdin's grip with the money; he runs to Minos, who takes the bag) Well, let's see what you're hauling, street rat. (Minos pulls out a coin) A single coin? All that bedlam for this? I don't know which one of you is dumber. (Shakes Abu)

Aladdin: It's all I have and I want it back, you big ox!

Minos: Who do you think you're talking to, boy? (Drops Abu) You're not talking to me like that, are you?

Aladdin: Do you see another big ox here? I want my money back.

Minos: I think you want me to squash you like a bug!

Abu: Uh oh...

Aladdin: (Backing away) Hey, hey, it's yours. Keep it. Besides, I've got plenty now! (Aladdin holds out a pouch full of money)

Minos: (Looks in his belt) My money!

(Abu laughs; Minos glares at him)

Abu: Oops!

Aziz: (To Fatima) This should be good and gory...

Minos: That foolish stunt will be your last, boy. (Approaches Aladdin)

Fatima: (Runs behind Aladdin; she puts her hands on his shoulders) Oh, don't be such a bully, Minos. The boy is strong, quick, and agile. With all his skills, he could help us find our... destiny. (Saunters past Minos) But you're the boss, whatever you think.

Minos: (Wearing a fake smile) Ah, yes, maybe I've been hasty. He does have a unique talent. I think you're just the man we've been looking for!

Aziz: Looking? When did we start looking for anybody? There's barely enough loot as it is! He'd be dead weight, drift wood, extra baggage, and he attracts fleas. (Cringes) What are we, a flea circus? I don't- (Minos grabs Aziz, shoving him against a wall)

Minos: I want him in. (Whispering) He just might be the one for our plan. We'll keep him around to see if he's got what we need. If not... (Laughs)

Aziz: Oh... (Laughs)

Minos: (Sets Aziz on the ground; to Aladdin) What do you say, boy?

Aladdin: I don't think so. I only take what I need to get by, and I can do that by myself.

Fatima: (Places her hands on Aladdin's shoulders) Oh, come now Aladdin, don't you ever get lonely? Out in the world all by yourself...

Aladdin: Well, it would be nice to have some friends. (Abu jumps onto Aladdin's shoulder; he takes Aladdin's fez and places it onto his own head) Okay, okay, count me in.

Fatima: Wonderful...

(Setting: The Stage)

(Minos, Fatima, and Aziz are on stage, holding large rings)

Aladdin (Voice over): I know I shouldn't have trusted Minos, but I figured 'what's the harm?'

Minos: Now, with the swiftness of a hawk, Fatima will fly through a ring of fire.

Aladdin (Voice over): All Abu and I had to do was work the crowd. (Aladdin and Abu stand behind the crowd, admiring a woman's jewels)

Fatima: (Holding another hoop) Wait, Aziz, let's not just use one hoop... let's use two! What do you think, fair citizens of Agrabah is two hoops of fire enough?

Citizens: No!

Fatima: Well, did you hear that, Aziz? I guess we better make it three hoops of fire!

(The crowd cheers)

Minos: Your wish for entertainment is our command.

(Aladdin and Abu steal a woman's necklace and gold, then a man's feather. Aladdin approaches another man, stealing his money; the man grabs his shoulder)

Man: Boy, isn't this exciting? Look at them! (Minos jumps down onto a platform, sending Fatima flying through three rings of fire) Have you ever seen such a feat?

Aladdin: (Clears his throat) Nope, can't say that I have...

Man: They are wonders! Never have I seen such masterful entertainers. (The man leaves)

Abu: Phew...

(Setting: Backstage, sometime later)

(The group is sitting before tables covered in gold)

Fatima: (Picks up a ring) Hmmm... this one is almost worthy of my beauty.

Aziz: (Taunting Abu with a coin) Monkey want gold? (Abu jumps for the gold; Aziz pulls it away) Monkey want gold?

(Minos sits in front of a large pile of gold. Beside him sits Aladdin, a small pile of gold before him.)

Minos: Naturally, as an apprentice, your share of the take is less. Once you're made a full member, you'll get a fair share.

Aladdin: Hey, this is still more money than I've ever had. I'm happy.

Fatima: And you should be, you sly devil. You did an excellent job.

Minos: Indeed, twice the job that miserable little monkey ever did.

(Abu sighs)

Aziz: And without the odor! (Aziz bends down in front of Abu, taunting him; Abu tries to jump Aziz, but misses and falls onto the ground) He can't do anything right.

Aladdin: Hey, Abu did his share. Here you go, pal. (Hands Abu half of his money) You earned it.

Abu: Huh?

Aladdin: (Putting his own money into a pouch) You know what to do with money, don't you Abu?

Abu: Uh huh!

Aladdin: Good! Well, then, I'll see you all in the morning. Good night. (Aladdin exits)

(Minos takes Abu's money )

Aziz: Gave his money to a monkey. What a gnat brain!

Minos: I don't know who's more of a fool. Aladdin for giving the money away...

Fatima: ...or Abu for thinking we'd let him keep it.

(The group starts laughing. Abu sighs and exits.)

(Setting: Marketplace, sometime later)

(Abu walks through the marketplace with his head hung. He passes a turban vendor.)

Aladdin: Hey, Abu! (Runs up beside Abu) What's wrong, pal? Has something got you down? Well, I don't like to see that. What can we do? (to the turban vendor) I would like to buy your finest hat.

Merchant: (Holds out an expensive white turban with a purple fez and feather on top) A finely crafted turban even the Sultan would be proud to wear.

Aladdin: I'll take it. (Pays) And now, Abu, in honor of your great work and our friendship, I present to you this turban. (Aladdin places the turban on Abu's head; it falls down, covering Abu's upper body) Hmm, Seems a little big.

(Aladdin pulls on the end of the white fabric, sending Abu spinning; when Abu stops, he is left with only the purple fez of the turban)

Aladdin: What do you think?

Abu: (Picks the fez up and examines it) Yeah! (Puts it back on)

Aladdin: My pleasure, Abu. For the first time in my life I have money. Lots of it. Now, what do you say we go get something to eat?

Abu: Uh huh!

(Abu and Aladdin start walking)

Aladdin: Some fresh bread, fruit, dates, and baklava for desert.

Abu: Oh, yeah!

(Aladdin and Abu hear a man talking to his family. They peek inside his window; it is the same man they robbed earlier in the marketplace)

Man: We have no money for food. I was robbed in the marketplace. How will we survive?

Woman: It'll be alright. We'll get by.

Man: But it's gone, all of it. Every last dinar we had! Gone! (Begins to cry)

Woman: There, there, we will manage... somehow.

Man: No, I'm a fool. I lost it all. (Someone knocks on the door) Who could that be this hour of the night? (Opens the door; there is a pouch of money on the front stoop) What- What is this? We are saved! It's a miracle!

Woman: Heaven has smiled upon us!

Man: This is much more than we lost. Tomorrow, we shall be generous with our alms..

(Aladdin and Abu are sitting on the man's roof)

Aladdin: I've never taken more than I needed. Today, we were hurting people, Abu.

Abu: Oh…

Aladdin: Well, I'm not doing it again. And if Minos has a problem with that, then it's him against me.

(Setting: Backstage)

Minos: You're right.

Aladdin: I am?

Minos: Ah, I tire of this life as well. It's time we went after a bigger prize. Do you know of the Destiny Stone?

Aladdin: No...

Fatima: Legend says it is the stone that rewards those who reach it. Rewards them handsomely.

Minos: Some say the Stone is as big as a man.

Fatima: A gem that would rival a Sultan's fortune.

Minos: But reaching the Stone is the trouble.. We can't do it without you.

Aladdin: Sorry. Look, I'm through with stealing.

Minos: It's not stealing! It's a...uh....

Fatima: Uh, uh...a treasure hunt!

Minos: The stone is there for the grabbing.

Fatima: You're the only one fast enough. We need you. (Seductively) I need you.

Aladdin: Uh, I don't know... (Fatima kisses him on the cheek ) ...I'm in.

Minos: Good! (Hits Aladdin on the back, nearly knocking him over) We leave at daybreak.

Fatima: Goodnight, Aladdin...

Aladdin: Yeah, uh, goodnight. (Aladdin leaves; Abu follows him)

Minos: (Mimicking Fatima) We need you, I need you. Huh! Stupid boy would have followed you into a volcano. (Takes Fatima's hand)

Fatima: Well, what good is a talent unless you use it?

Minos: Oh, I would do anything for you, my love. (Kisses Fatima's hand)

Fatima: And I would expect you to, Minos.

(A treasure chest in the corner begins to shake. Minos opens it. Aziz is inside; he's tied in a sack)

Aziz: Stupid trick, still not working right. So, is the kid in?

Fatima: (Primping herself in the mirror) Heart and soul.

Aziz: I'm sill not sure about that kid. Are you sure he can make it through all those traps? (Aziz struggles to get out of the chest; he falls onto his head) Ow.

Minos: If he doesn't, it's no sweat off of my back. So there's one less street rat in the world. He won't be missed.

(Setting: Outside the Temple of Destiny)

Aladdin (Voice Over): The next morning, we journeyed to the Temple of Destiny. To keep out the unworthy, the Temple was full of deadly traps. That's why they needed me.

Minos: It's your show now, boy. You're the only one who's fast enough to enter the Temple.

Fatima: Just remember- push the sphere.

Aladdin: I'll do my best.

(Aladdin enters the Temple)

Aladdin: Push the sphere. Right. (He looks around) What sphere? (Takes a few steps forward) Nothing's happening. Hey, are you sure- (A tin knight beside him lowers a mace toward Aladdin's head; he notices it just in time to dodge)- ah!

(Traps set off all around Aladdin, including more maces, objects smashing together and an open pit; Aladdin reaches the end of the hallway and sees the sphere on the door)

Aladdin: The sphere. (Pushes the sphere, but is unable to get it in the whole way; he hears a noise behind him) What? Whoa. (A giant spiked ball rolls down the temple hall; Aladdin pushes the sphere harder, causing it to slide in before the ball hits him; a hole opens in the floor and the ball falls inside)

Aladdin: (To the others) Hey, it's okay. I made it! I'm okay!

Aziz: Well, I'll be a rabid jackal. He did it!

(The others enter the temple. Abu runs into Aladdin's arms)

Aladdin: It's okay, Abu. I'm alright.

Minos: Well done, boy.

Fatima: We couldn't have done it without you.

Minos: And now, (Punches the door open) the Destiny Stone is ours.

(The Guardian approaches the group.)

Guardian: You have proven worthy. I am the Guardian. You may now approach the Stone and embrace your destiny.

Minos: I'll embrace more than my destiny. I'll embrace the Stone.

Fatima: It'll bring a pretty price when we break it up and sell it all.

(The Guardian blocks the group's path with his ax)

Guardian: No, the Stone cannot be stolen! (Aziz blows the fire from a torch he carries to the ax; the handle becomes hot) Ah! (drops the ax)

Fatima: You should have let us have our way, old man.

(Minos tries to punches the Guardian; Aladdin stops him.)

Aladdin: No! I won't let you hurt him.

Minos: (Grabs Aladdin) You made a big mistake, boy. (Abu bites Minos in the ankle; Minos lets Aladdin go) Ow!

Fatima: You traitor!

Aladdin: Abu!

(Aladdin picks up the ax and grabs Abu before Aziz burns him, then stands before the trio)

Minos: You can't escape, boy!

(Aladdin hits Aziz with the ax's handle; Minos grabs the ax and breaks it in two, with Aladdin left holding part of the handle)

Abu: Uh oh...

(Aladdin runs; Fatima jumps in front of him)

Fatima: Don't rush away yet! Aziz has a trick to perform.

(Aladdin shoves Fatima away with the handle. Aziz sends a blast of fire past Aladdin and Abu, hitting a statue behind them. The statue crumbles and crushes the both of them.)

Minos: So ends your training, street rat.

(Aladdin and Abu crawl out from underneath the rubble)

Aladdin: (Weakly) I won't let you take the Stone. It's wrong!

Fatima: Sorry, tiger, but you're in no position to stop us.

Minos: This moment has been a long time coming.

(Minos picks the stone up from off the pedestal; the stone begins to glow)

Aziz: Reassure me. Tell me it's supposed to do that.

Aladdin: Wha...?

(The stone leaves Minos's hand and floats into the air)

Minos: Whoa!

Fatima: It's wondrous!

(The stone emits pink rays, grabbing Minos, Fatima, and Aziz. Aladdin and Abu hide behind a pillar before the magic can grab them.)

Minos: What?

(The rays pull Minos, Fatima, and Aziz inside the stone. The Guardian approaches Aladdin and Abu, scaring them.)

Guardian: It is finished.

Aladdin: What? What happened?

Guardian: I told them, the Stone cannot be stolen. We cannot change the Stone's place in the world, but it can change ours.

(Setting: Agrabah; Outside Aladdin's hovel)

Aladdin: Well, I guess this is it, Abu, we go our separate ways. Too bad... we work pretty well together. A real team.

Abu: (Nods, then turns away sadly) Oh...

Aladdin: (Hopefully) I suppose we could stick together as... friends. (Abu smiles and jumps into Aladdin's arms) All right!

(Setting: The Palace of Agrabah, Present)

Genie: Rip-off! I thought the Destiny Stone changes everybody's life? But it didn't change yours! Not like a certain lamp! (Pulls out his lamp)

Guardian: But if Aladdin's comrades had not sought the Stone, Aladdin would not have met his little friend.

Aladdin: And it was Abu who snagged the lamp from Jafar. I think that changed my life. Yours too.

Abu: Uh huh!

Genie: Yeah, well okay, if you want to look at it that way.

Guardian: The Destiny Stone works in ways that we cannot comprehend. What it has done to Minos, Fatima, and Aziz, we can only begin to guess.

(The setting changes to the interior of the Temple of Destiny. The Destiny Stone bursts open, and Minos, Fatima, and Aziz emerge. Now, however, Minos is a minotaur, Fatima is a half-bird, and Aziz is a magical being with green skin).

(Setting: The Desert; Night)

Genie: So, Al, is there anything else you're not telling us? I mean, you think you know a guy, then you find out he's got a skeleton in his closet the size of a brontosaurus (Pulls out a large bone).

Iago: Yeah... who knows how many genies there were before you? (Genie gulps)

(Carpet lands outside the Temple of Destiny)

Aladdin: Careful. This temple is full of booby traps. (The gang enters the Temple; it is in shambles) What could have done this?

Iago: A thing that wanted to get out of here bad. Like us... let's go (Abu and Iago run; Carpet pushes them back in).

Aladdin: At least we don't have to worry about any booby traps now..

Genie: That's right, the traps are trashed. (One of the traps engages, smashing Genie) Except one.

(To escape the trap, Genie separates the top of his body from its lower half)

Aladdin: From now on, let's stick together.

Genie: I'm working on it! (Reattaches his body)

(The group enters the Stone's lair. The Stone is in pieces)

Aladdin: Look! Minos, Fatima, and Aziz were here. Inside the Stone.

Iago: No, no, wait! I hear a voice. No, it's three voices! Coming from there. (Points to the pieces, then starts picking them up, as though he's in a trace) "Take the shards of stone. Mount them in tasteful settings. Sell them in the marketplace." For a fair profit.

Genie: Oh no. (As Merlin) That stone released something magical.

Aladdin: Magical?

Genie: Trust me, Al. When it comes to the freedom of magical entities, I know.

Aladdin: Whatever broke out kept on going. Let's get back to Agrabah.

(They leave the Temple)

THE END

34. The Way We War / Цена победы
(Setting: outside a home on the outskirts of Agrabah. A woman draws water from a well while her young son watches, and he insists on helping carry it back to the house.)

Mother: Mama's big boy is such a big help!

(The ground begins to shake. They look up to the top of a sand dune, where an army of Odiferans is approaching, bringing a catapult with them. They fire the catapult, which is filled with gooey brown cheese, at the well. The woman and child run out of the way, but the well and everything around it is hit with the cheese.)

Boy: What is it, Mama?

Odiferan general: It is war, tiny one! Go tell your puny sultan! War!

(The woman picks up her son and runs away. The Odiferans catapult another giant balls of cheese into the palace.)

(Setting: the palace. Aladdin, Abu, and Genie have just arrived in the throne room on Carpet. Jasmine is already there.)

Jasmine: Aladdin, what is happening to our city?

Aladdin: It's bad, Jasmine. Agrabah's under attack and I can't figure out why.

Iago: (popping his head out from under a cushion on the throne) Who cares? Let's just lay low in the palace until this war thing blows over!

Genie: (sniffing) Ooh, maybe that nasty smell will blow over, too! (holds his nose)

(Sultan enters, followed by Nefir the imp, who is wearing a tall hat.)

Nefir: Sadly, dear Sultan, Agrabah is in peril and will soon fall!

Aladdin: (grabbing the imp) Not a chance, Nefir!

Genie: Oh, so that's what stinks around here. Imps! Blech!

Nefir: Unhand me, mad youth!

Sultan: Aladdin! Nefir is my new war advisor.

Aladdin: Sultan, you can't trust him!

Sultan: It was Nefir who first warned me of the attack!

Aladdin: (angry) Ask the imp about the time he—

Jasmine: Aladdin, please. Hear my father out.

Aladdin: Jasmine, I… (sighs)

Sultan: Actually, Nefir, I do recall a rather curious account of your efforts in Getzistan.

Nefir: Oo oo oo, I almost forgot your gift!

(Takes a sheet off a model of the city.)

Abu: Ooh, wow!

Sultan: I say! A remarkable piece of work.

Nefir: All yours, completely complimentary… with a minimum purchase.

Jasmine: Purchase what?

Nefir: Observe. (flips a switch on the model and fans open up all around the model palace) Keeps out bad bombs, lets in friendly imps!

Sultan: Splendid! Perhaps a life size demonstration, Nefir?

(Nefir claps his hands, and his three imp sidekicks enter the throne room.)

Nefir: You heard the royal! Snap to!

(The imps fly outside and build a giant fan in front of the palace.)

Nefir: Incoming!

(A cheese bomb is hurtling towards the palace.)

Sultan: Oh, dear!

Nefir: Hit it!

(An imp pulls a lever, and the fan opens up, stopping the cheese from hitting everyone standing on the balcony and bouncing it back toward the Odiferans. It then closes again.)

Nefir: Should I put you down for the deluxe chief executive package?

Sultan: Yes yes yes yes! On every wall in Agrabah!

Aladdin: But Sultan, you can't trust him!

Sultan: His imps just demonstrated that they can protect Agrabah, dear boy!

Jasmine: What Aladdin meant was, um, do you guarantee your work?

Nefir: I stand behind all my weapons, Princess.

Aladdin: You oughta try standing in front of 'em!

Nefir: (to Sultan) Your highness, those bumbling barbarians from Odiferus won't know what hit them.

Aladdin: Odiferus? Hold on. Those barbarians are our friends.

Nefir: Friends?

Jasmine: And allies!

Sultan: They have no reason to wage war with us, Nefir.

Nefir: Reason? We're talking about barbarians. To them using a big word is a motive for murder.

(A cheese bomb flies into the throne room and splatters all over the throne.)

Nefir: See? If it weren't for all this talk we'd have the defense nets online by now.

Sultan: Yes! Not a moment to lose!

(The imps fly around Sultan and make him a new outfit, with lots of blue feathers and gold.)

Sultan: Oh, how regal!

Aladdin: I can't believe the Odiferans would attack!

Jasmine: I don't want to believe it either, but the evidence can't get much stronger.

Nefir: (reading a bill) "One uniform, assorted gold medals, epaulets made of silver…" (hands the bill to Sultan)

Iago: This war thing is not cheap!

Nefir: Sultan, when Agrabah's safety is at stake, prompt payment is in order.

Sultan: Oh, yes yes yes, of course, Nefir. Guards! Gold, at once!

(Two guards carry in a chest full of gold coins. Three coins fall out, and Abu grabs them and puts them under his hat.)

Nefir: (kicking the chest) Hmm, three coins short. (goes over to Abu)

Abu: Who, me?

(Abu lifts his hat, and Nefir takes the coins.)

Nefir: Until you need my services again, o wise and generous Sultan.

(The imps fly away, carrying the chest full of gold.)

Aladdin: Something tells me he'll be back.

(Setting: at the edge of town. The Odiferans have set up camp.)

Odiferan general: They what?

Odiferan soldier: They repelled our offensive, General Gouda.

General Gouda: I warned you about using big words, soldier!

Odiferan soldier: We, uh, bashed our own catapults, sir.

Uncouthma: So, war is over?

Gouda: Over? Prince Uncouthma, we cannot return to Odiferus until we smash these flimsy fiends!

Uncouthma: These folks are flimsy, General, but friendly, not fiendly!

Nefir: (entering the tent, followed by his imps) Friendly? Consider their despicable deed, Prince! Stealing the Most Sacred Crock of Cheese!

(General Gouda and the other Odiferan soldiers all take their hats off and chant in unison.)

Odiferans: Sacred cheese, wherever you be, in our heart muscles we still [unintelligible].

Gouda: We will bash onward until our Sacred Crock is surrendered!

(The other soldiers cheer and shout.)

Uncouthma: An Odiferan philosopher once said, "There has never been a good war or a bad cheese."

Gouda: But, this was a good war… until your puny imp weapons broke!

Nefir: How could we forsee their advanced technology? The answer is more advanced, more expensive weapons.

(Nefir snaps his fingers, and the other imps go outside and rebuild the catapult into a machine that fires huge diamond-tipped javelins. Nefir then hands Uncouthma the bill.)

Uncouthma: Mighty steep bill!

Nefir: (gasps) Dare you put a price on the Most Sacred Crock of Cheese?

Uncouthma: No, of course not! That would be, uh, wrong! (hands a chest of coins over to the imps)

Nefir: Until you need my services again, o wise and generous Prince! (leaves)

Gouda: Fire!

(A soldier fires the new weapon at the palace. The javelins fly right through the defensive fans and lodge in the palace, just beneath the throne room balcony.)

Sultan: Oh! The audacity!

Iago: Forget this defensive stuff, your highness! It's time to fight back. (punching the air) Whack their flank! Whack their rear! Just whack!

(Nefir flies into the throne room just before a javelin hurtles towards them, hitting Iago and pinning him to a wall.)

Sultan: That was close!

Nefir: I might suggest an offensive weapon or two.

Genie: (pulling the javelin out of the wall) Isn't this offensive enough?

Iago: Sultan, if I might suggest… GO FOR IT!

Aladdin: Sultan, shouldn't we find out why the Odiferans are attacking us?

Sultan: Yes, oh, good point, my boy. Find out.

Nefir: No no no no! Barbarians only understand action! Even then, the action must be very clear to avoid confusion.

Aladdin: But, Sultan, this could be a catastrophe!

Sultan: Precisely, Aladdin! Nefir, I want weapons. As many as your imps can make.

Aladdin: But, your highness, I meant—

Jasmine: I'm sorry, Aladdin, but I think you should go.

Aladdin: What?

Jasmine: My father has been the ruler of Agrabah since before we were born.

Aladdin: (angry) Well, if that's the way you feel, Princess. (starts to walk away) Thanks to Nefir my status just dropped back to streetrat!

Genie: Better a rat than an imp!

Aladdin: Easy, Genie. Take Carpet and Iago and guard the palace. Keep Jasmine safe. We're going to find Uncouthma.

(Back at the Odiferan camp.)

Gouda: Fire!

(The Odiferans fire their machine, throwing javelins at the city. At the same time, crossbows appear on all the city walls and shoot back. The javelins and arrows collide in midair, destroying each other. General Gouda smashes a wall in anger as Nefir approaches him.)

Gouda: Bigger weapons!

Nefir: One very barbaric special… payment in advance, of course.

(From a tower, Aladdin and Abu look toward the Odiferan camp. They can see a huge dust cloud caused by the imps building something.)

Abu: Huh?

(Suddenly, a giant metal ball comes rolling down the street, demolishing everything in its path. It crashes into the tower Aladdin is in, knocking it down. Aladdin and Abu jump to safety.)

Aladdin: Come on, Abu. Uncouthma can't be far.

(Nefir sees Aladdin running toward the Odiferan camp.)

Nefir: Aladdin! So, the streetrat plays the role of diplomat. Peace could put a big dent in my business. Unless… yes!

(Nefir returns to the Odiferan camp.)

Nefir: A spy is near the camp!

Gouda: I hate spies! (punches a hole in a wall)

Nefir: …named Aladdin.

Uncouthma: Friend Aladdin?

Nefir: This so-called "friend" of yours was once a notorious thief. According to my highly reliable sources it was a thief named Aladdin who stole your Most Sacred Crock.

Uncouthma: Not Friend Aladdin!

Nefir: Perhaps you're right. The Aladdin I'm referring to has a genie and a magic carpet.

Uncouthma: (gasps) Oh, Friend Aladdin, how could you?

Gouda: We must smash this spy, this cheese-stealer, this Aladdin!

Uncouthma: (picking up a mace) No, General Gouda. I will find him! I will bash him!

Nefir: (whispering to a crocodile-headed imp) Follow Uncouthma. I want to know every juicy detail of Aladdin's demise. I personally hate violence, but love entertaining accounts of it!

(Setting: the throne room.)

Sultan: Where is my war advisor? Agrabah must be defended! I'm prepared to pay any price!

Iago: Ooh! And it isn't even my birthday. (whispering to Genie) Wait for my cue, blue boy.

Genie: Huh?

Iago: Sultan, why rely on that imp when Agrabah has its very own genie! (to Genie) Look smart, soldier! Huah!

Genie: (turning himself and Carpet into soldiers) Ten hut! (salutes) We're in the army now, rug man.

Sultan: A very generous offer, Iago.

Iago: Uh, your majesty, did I mention the small gratuity? For overhead.

Genie: (putting a helmet on Iago) Yo! General nuisance! We're freedom fighters! We fight for free!

Iago: Yeah, sure sure sure. But we have to cover our expenses!

Sultan: Perhaps you could have some of the gold if I paid Nefir less.

Nefir: Ahem! (entering the throne room)

Sultan: Nefir? There you are!

Nefir: Am I to understand that Aladdin's merry band is about to enlist in Agrabah's army?

Iago: I'm a soldier of fortune. In this case, your fortune. Get lost!

Nefir: (gasps) You mean you wouldn't volunteer to defend your mother country?

Genie: He wouldn't volunteer to defend his mother!

Iago: Heh heh! Ahem! I'd love to volunteer, but—

Sultan: Wonderful, Iago! Go forth and battle the barbarian menace!

Nefir: …while we get down to business.

(Setting: the streets of Agrabah, a little while later. Genie, Iago, and Carpet are in a foxhole, while cheese bombs land all around them.)

Iago: I can't believe I'm risking my tailfeathers… for free!

Genie: They're getting closer, boys. You know, fellas, we've been through a lot together in the last, oh, ten or twelve minutes. It kinda makes a guy think.

Iago: That would be a first!

Genie: Go ahead! Joke, Sarge! The men all need a good laugh.

Iago: What men? There's two of you and one's a rug!

Gouda: Prepare to launch the mole missile!

(The Odiferans roll out a new machine.)

Gouda: Hit it!

(They fire the weapon, which sends a missile burrowing underground toward Genie's foxhole.)

Genie: (was playing the harmonica, then suddenly stops) Shh! Hear that?

Iago: (seeing the missile approaching them) Fire in the hole!

(They all jump out of the hole. The missile goes right through it, toward a house where two children stand in the doorway. Carpet flies the kids to safety, while Genie jumps in front of the missile to stop it. It explodes just as it reaches the house.)

Genie: Somebody could really get hurt here. (coughs) Whoa, we'd better find Al.

(Aladdin and Abu have just reached the Odiferan camp.)

Abu: Oh, Aladdin…

Aladdin: Easy, Abu. Uncouthma's around here somewhere.

(Uncouthma, standing behind Aladdin, barely misses Aladdin's head with his mace.)

Uncouthma: Search no more, fragile filcher!

Aladdin: Uncouthma! You had us worried for a—

Uncouthma: Shush, false friend and cheese-stealer! The bashing begins now!

Abu: Uh oh…

Aladdin: Him, too!

(Uncouthma tries to hit Aladdin again, but he rolls out of the way. Aladdin jumps over a wall to get away, and Uncouthma starts knocking it down with his mace to get to him.)

Aladdin: You go ahead, Abu.

Abu: Huh?

(The wall is now destroyed, and Uncouthma approaches Aladdin as Abu runs and hides.)

Aladdin: I won't run from you, Uncouthma! But I won't fight you, either.

(Uncouthma smashes the wall on either side of Aladdin, who doesn't move, then raises the mace up over his head.)

Aladdin: No matter what happens, you're still my friend.

Uncouthma: (lowering the mace) I cannot smash you, former friend Aladdin.

(Aladdin and Abu breathe a sigh of relief.)

Uncouthma: I have failed Odiferus. I could not crush my enemy. No matter what Nefir said, I could not do it!

Aladdin: Nefir? The imp?

Uncouthma: Eh, little guy, bird face. His imps build our weapons.

Aladdin: He sold weapons to Agrabah, too… after he told us you were invading.

Uncouthma: Nefir knows many things. It was he who told us it was you who stole our most sacred crock of cheese.

(The crocodile-headed imp, who has been watching all of this, flies off and tells Nefir.)

Nefir: Hmm, do tell… No matter. Change of plans.

(Elsewhere in the city, General Gouda is examining a map of Agrabah.)

Gouda: Oh, yes. Oh, there's much to be bashed in this city.

Nefir: General Gouda, it is with great sadness that I must report the enemy has captured Prince Uncouthma!

Gouda: We will grind the sultan and his frail people into yak butter! Make more weapons, Nefir. Make 'em big! Make 'em powerful! Make 'em—

Nefir: Ludicrously overpriced!

(A short while later, General Gouda is driving a huge yak-drawn cart carrying what look like giant tops with blades attached to them. The imps wave goodbye to him.)

Gouda: Onward to Agrabah palace!

Nefir: Looks like the end of Agrabah! But, I still have time for one more sale to the sultan.

(Uncouthma and Aladdin are on the street in front of Gouda.)

Gouda: Launch battle top!

(Another Odiferan pulls a chain, causing one of the tops to spin off of the cart towards Aladdin and Uncouthma. They run away from the top as it goes into the Marketplace. A melon merchant sees the top coming and ducks down, but it slices all the melons.)

Aladdin: Down here!

(Aladdin and Uncouthma run into an alley too narrow for the top. It bounces off the corner and heads in a different direction.)

Aladdin: We have to stop this!

Uncouthma: Once Gouda starts bashing he can go on for days.

(We can see several more battle tops have been released into the Marketplace. Uncouthma hits one with his mace, stopping it for a second before he is spun into a wall. The top then winds down.)

(Genie arrives with Carpet and Iago, still dressed as a soldier and blowing a bugle.)

Genie: Charge!

Aladdin: Genie! Iago! Look out!

(A top is headed after Iago.)

Genie: I'll hurl myself at a live one for ya, Sarge!

(Genie pushes down on the top and drills it down into the ground, but gets his head twisted around in the process.)

(Another top is headed for Abu. Aladdin, from the top of a bridge, lassos it with a rope and pulls it back. He pulls it off the ground, then jumps off the other side of the bridge. The top swings back towards Aladdin and almost hits him, but Carpet catches him and carries him away. Uncouthma catches the top and smashes it.)

Uncouthma: Friend Aladdin! You nearly gave me a heart muscle attack!

Aladdin: Thanks, Uncouthma. It almost got me!

Genie: (his head literally spinning) Private Genie, sir, requesting a little time to unwind!

(Iago lands on his head, and it stops spinning.)

Genie: Thanks!

Aladdin: Nefir is behind this whole war! We have to get word to the sultan!

(Everyone looks at Iago.)

Iago: Oh, no!

Aladdin: Fly to Jasmine. She can convince her father.

Iago: Why is it always me? Somebody needs to teach the rug to talk. (flies away)

(Setting: the palace. Sultan is looking down from a balcony.)

Sultan: Will nothing stop these Odiferans?

Nefir: Now, may I suggest a weapon so powerful, so destructive, so costly…

Sultan: So be it!

Nefir: The really expensive one, right?

Sultan: Yes, I'll teach those barbarians!

Nefir: My industrious imps have already begun… which means some sort of down payment will be in order?

Sultan: Guards! All of the gold, now!

(Jasmine and Rajah are watching from behind a curtain.)

Jasmine: I've never seen my father like this before, Rajah. Protecting the city is one thing, but this!

(Iago is thrown into the room and hits a wall.)

Iago: (dizzy) Message for the princess. Anybody seen her?

(Setting: the palace garden. Sultan and Nefir are entering a tower.)

Nefir: After you, your highness.

Sultan: Very impressive, Nefir… Uh, what is it?

Nefir: Oh, just a little something I improvised for absolute annihilation.

(Two imps outside start turning a wheel, and the tower lifts up into the air.)

Sultan: My, we're very high up!

Nefir: So you can see your enemy's every move! Now let's do some damage.

(Nefir pulls a lever and the top of the tower opens up. Inside is what looks like a lightning rod which crackles with electricity.)

Sultan: Sounds dangerous, Nefir.

Nefir: Only if you're out there.

(A bolt of electricity shoots out of the top of the tower and blows up a nearby minaret.)

Nefir: And it's hardly warmed up! Perhaps a warning shot, just to let them know you mean business?

Sultan: Well, fair warning would be the proper thing, yes.

(Jasmine and Iago go up to Nefir's imps, who are at the base of the tower taking a coffee break.)

Jasmine: Lower the tower at once!

(The imps laugh at her.)

Iago: Your imp-eating kitty would love these guys.

Jasmine: Oh, Rajah!

(Rajah chases the imps away.)

(Jasmine tries to turn the wheel to lower the tower, but it won't budge.)

Iago: Look at this! (raises a lever) Easy! (it falls back down and hits him on the head)

(The tower starts to close, but Nefir realizes what's happening and reopens it, then shoots a bolt of electricity at Aladdin's group. A second later, there is a smoking crater where Aladdin and Uncouthma were standing.)

Genie: People and your stupid war! You've pushed me too far! You don't want to see what happens when you push a genie too far! (grows until he towers over the entire city) I call a cease fire! NOW!

Gouda: (frightened) Halt!

Sultan: Oh my! Yes!

(General Gouda and Jasmine run over to the crater.)

Gouda: Prince Uncouthma?

Jasmine: Aladdin!

(Uncouthma climbs out of the crater, carrying a motionless Aladdin.)

Jasmine: Oh, Aladdin, you were right about Nefir.

Aladdin: (regaining consciousness) Yeah, I was, wasn't I?

Uncouthma: Friend Aladdin, you live! (hugs Aladdin) Ooh, my face nearly weeps!

Genie: (hugging both men) Nefir didn't blast you guys to Adam!

Aladdin: Nope. But I'd still like a word with the little imp.

(Setting: the throne room a short while later. Aladdin and all his friends, the sultan, and the Odiferans are all there. General Gouda is holding Nefir by his wings.)

Nefir: I'm just a simple entrepreneur!

Iago: Teach 'im a lesson, Gouda, baby!

Jasmine: Iago!

Sultan: Savagery is not the way!

Gouda: (sadly) No, tiny king is right. War stinks.

Genie: And that's not all that stinks. (sniffs Nefir) Ooh, you need a good scrub, bub! Even for an imp, you're ripe!

Aladdin: (sniffing) Smells like… cheese!

(Aladdin removes Nefir's tall hat. The Most Sacred Crock of Cheese is hidden underneath.)

Nefir: Heh heh heh, came with the hat?

Uncouthma: The Most Sacred Crock of Cheese! Oh, my heart muscle soars!

Nefir: A happy ending! Well, it looks like my work here is finished! Because, uh, peace is my business!

Gouda: You will fix Agrabah, now!

Sultan: And refund your ill-gotten gold!

Nefir: Refunds?! It's unthinkable! (everyone glares at him) But not unheard of!

THE END

36. Shadow of a Doubt / Тень сомнения
SORRY, but this episode is not completed

38. The Vapor Chase / В погоне за дымом
(Starting Scene:) We find Haroud traveling the desert carrying a bag over his shoulders, he walks into the hideout where Abis Mal is warming up by the fire.

Abis Mal: Well it's about time! I've been waiting!

Haroud: (panting) How awful for you, waiting here, while I frolicked merrily across the desert, with a half-ton chest! (drops the bag with the chest and cracks his back)

Abis Mal: That's OK. Just don't let it happen again. (he opens the bag revealing a treasure chest and laughs gleefully, as he opens the chest.) What? I paid a thousand dinari for powder?! (he grabs both handfuls of powder) This is even worse than when I traded the cow for those magic beans! Boy was that embarrassing! Eh, when you're a kid you think you're so smart. (screams) Powder! What a rip-off!

(Abis Mal throws the powder in the fire and the fire raises very high when it came back down a smoke demon came out of the fire and Abis Mal screams)

Smoke Demon: Burn more.

Abis Mal: Oh great. a thousand dinari for talking smoke. With this I can work children's parties. (he grabs another handful of powder) Eh, might as well see what happens.

Haroud: (grabs Abis Mal's hand) This could be a trick.

Abis Mal: Say this could be a trick! (throws the powder back in the chest)

Smoke Demon: Trust me, I can be useful to you. (the smoke demon goes inside Abis Mal's clothing)

Abis Mal: (laughs while he being tickled) Quit it! That tickles!

Smoke Demon: I can steal for you.

Abis Mal: We're in business. (he grabs the chest)

Haroud: Wait! Wouldn't it be wiser to burn it a little at a time? We could steal more that way.

Abis Mal: Yeah… More.

Haroud: Distribute it all over the city.

Abis Mal: Yeah. All over the city.

Haroud: Sell it in the Marketplace.

Abis Mal: I've got it! We'll sell it in the Marketplace!

Haroud: And when people bring it home…

Abis Mal: And when people bring it home…

Haroud: (whispers in Abis Mal's ear) The smoke will steal all their valuables.

Abis Mal: The smoke will steal all their valuables.!

Haroud: An excellent idea, sir.

(Next scene:) In the Marketplace people are trying to sell their stuff

Merchant 1: Clothing woven from finest silk!

Merchant 2: Fish! We fry it, you buy it!

Abis Mal: Fuel Powder! A little powder goes a long way! Burns faster, hotter, cheaper! A little powder… (Haroud elbows him to point at Jasmine & Iago who were looking at pots and are heading their way) Must hide, must hide! (Haroud taps his shoulder) huh? (Haroud points at the clothing merchant)

Merchant 1: Clothing woven from finest silk!

Haroud: Disguises, sir.

Abis Mal: (gives the merchant a bag of dinari) I'll take it all! (he takes the clothes and goes back to their booth, Haroud gets down and pulls him down as well dropping all the clothes he was carrying, Haroud wears a hooded disguise but Abis Mal was wearing female clothing, he quickly changed again this time he had the same kind of clothing as Haroud)

Jasmine: Oh, what are these?

Haroud: A more efficient type of fuel madam.

Abis Mal: (in a highly pitched voice) Burns faster, hotter, cheaper!

Jasmine: The nights have been so cold, and firewood is expensive. I've been looking for something I could do for the people of Agrabah. I could buy all the powder and give it to to poor!

Abis Mal: (in a highly pitched but disappointed voice) The… poor?

Jasmine: We could even use some for the palace!

Abis Mal: (in a highly pitched but approving voice) The palace! Ooh!

Jasmine: I'll take all of them!

(Next scene:) In the Palace, Rasoul and another guard are carrying baskets full of containers of powder, Aladdin and Genie are running to Jasmine)

Aladdin: Jasmine we got great news!

Genie: We found an underground spring in the desert!

Aladdin: If we can tap the water we can set up our own oasis! (Rasoul picks up another basket) Uh What's going on?

Jasmine: I found this in the Marketplace. It's a special fuel that burns better than wood.

(Abu takes a container of powder and places it in his vest)

Aladdin: No kidding?

Genie: You want to hear how we found the water?

Jasmine: (ignoring Genie) This could be something really great for the city!

Genie: I turned into a dousing rod. (he turns his face into a dousing rod)

Aladdin: (examines the container) How do you know it works?

Jasmine: Well— Why wouldn't it?

Genie: Suddenly, I started to shake!

Aladdin: How hot does this stuff burn? It could be dangerous.

Jasmine: The merchant said it was safe.

Genie: Suddenly, I jerked to the side!

Aladdin: I think we should try this stuff before you hand it out.

Jasmine: And I think you're jealous!

Aladdin: What?

Genie: Then I shot off! (he flies around the throne room) Homing in on the nearest water!

(Abu takes cover and Genie flies out of the palace)

Aladdin: Why would I be jealous?

Jasmine: You're jealous because I found this great powder, and all you found was water! I can't believe you'd be so petty!

Abu: Ohh…

(Outside The Palace, Genie's upper body is in the Palace fountain while his lower body is kicking out)

Genie: (dazed) And that's the story of how we found the water. Next week I'll tell you about "Goldilocks and the Three Excruciating Head Impacts."

(Next scene:) An overshot view of Agrabah, it's nighttime and the wind is howling, the Marketplace and the streets are empty, then a building shows and out comes three smoke demons carrying treasure around the city of Agrabah, all the smoke demons are carrying treasure. In Aladdin's hideout Aladdin Carpet Abu and Iago are all asleep)

Iago: (while he's still sleeping) Of course I have an alibi!

(Iago snatches the covers from Abu and he gets angry at him, the wind blew the fire making it shorter and Abu is now shivering, he takes the container of powder which he took from the palace earlier, grabs some powder and puts it into the fire, a smoke demon rises from the fire and circles Abu before he takes his fez. The smoke demon leaves and Abu gets angry. Iago then wakes up.)

Iago: You got the wrong guy! you want my twin brother, Othello!

(Iago's screaming woke up Carpet and Aladdin)

Aladdin: What's going on?

(Abu tells Aladdin what has happened by screeching and sign languages)

Iago: The smoke from the fire stole your hat. Of course! wake me up if anything unusual happens.

(Carpet examines the ground and see a light brown substance on the floor, he brushes some off)

Aladdin: (sleepily) Abu go back to sleep. (Carpet shows him the substance) That's strange. It's some kind of soot.

Abu: Uh-huh, Uh-huh, I told you.

Aladdin: You sure of what you saw?

Abu: Uh-huh.

Aladdin: We better tell Jasmine and the Sultan!

(Next scene:) shows a big pot full of fire inside The Palace before showing Aladdin, Iago, Abu, Carpet, Jasmine and the Sultan

Jasmine: You got us out of bed in the middle of the night because Abu had a bad dream?!

Aladdin: There was strange soot all over the place.

Abu: Yeah!

Aladdin: And I think this (shows container) has something to do with it.

Jasmine: You just won't rest until you prove I was wrong!

Aladdin: Jasmine this has nothing to do with you. I just think we should test it.

Jasmine: Do whatever you like. (Aladdin opens the container, goes by the fire, and takes out from the container a pinch of powder before looking back at her) I'm waiting. (Aladdin puts the pinch of powder into the fire and it rises, Abu and Iago takes cover but only a cloud of smoke came out) Hmph! Are you satisfied? It worked just like it's supposed to.

Iago: You just didn't use enough.

(Iago takes the container from Aladdin)

Aladdin: Iago!

(Iago throws the whole container into the fire and the fire rises blasting him into a wall)

Iago: I had better ideas.

(The fire dies down and a smoke demon rises from the fire; the smoke demon wraps its smoke substance around the Sultan and lifts him up way high out of Aladdin and Jasmine's reach. Aladdin takes out his lamp, rubs it, and Genie is out with his pajamas on while he's looking in his own refrigerator for snacks)

Aladdin: Genie! Save the Sultan!

Genie: Righty-O! Drop the Sultan, buddy!

(The smoke demon takes the jewel out of the Sultan's turban and literally drops the Sultan)

Sultan: Aah! Whooooaaahh!

(Carpet saves the Sultan)

Genie: I didn't mean that literally. (the Smoke Demon tries to escape but he blocks his exit, the Smoke Demon covers Genie's face and they both fly around damaging the whole room) Oh, look out! Hey! Stop it!

Iago: Why do things always get worse when he shows up?

(Genie tries to pull the Smoke Demon away from his face Aladdin takes a urn and opens it)

Aladdin: Genie, in here!

(Genie finally gets the Smoke Demon away from his head, he slams down the Smoke Demon into the urn and Aladdin closes it)

Genie: Whoo! What were you guys doing before I got here? This place is a wreck!

Jasmine: Are you okay, Father?

Sultan: (dazed) Uh— fine, fine my dear. Oh uh— r-remind me to paint my teeth tonight.

(Jasmine catches him and drags him over to where Aladdin is)

Jasmine: I'm responsible for this.

Aladdin: Don't blame yourself, you meant well. These things happen.

Jasmine: (sadly) Aladdin, I knew you were right. But I was so excited about helping Agrabah, I guess I just didn't want to listen. (hugs Aladdin) It's all my fault!

Aladdin: It's okay. It's okay.

Iago: I hate to quash your emotional circus kids, but we got bigger problems right now!

Genie: Ooh! what are we gonna do, Al?

Aladdin: We're gonna let it go.

(Aladdin lifts up the urn lid and the Smoke Demon escapes)

Iago: We're in a generous mood today. How about lending me a hundred dinari?

Aladdin: No, we're gonna let it go and follow it.

(The smoke demon leaves the Palace, and Aladdin, Jasmine, Genie, Abu, & Iago fly after it on Carpet)

(Next scene:) The Smoke Demon reaches a building, flies to the top and goes inside. Inside there are more smoke demons flying in circles. The smoke demon with the jewel keeps flying down to Abis Mal and Haroud. Abis Mal is playing with the coins

Abis Mal: Hoo-Hoo! All the wealth of Agrabah is mine, and I didn't have to lift a finger to get it! And uh, ahem. check this out, (he puts on Abu's fez) this is a good look for me, no? (Haroud gives him a disapproving look) You don't like it? Fine! i can take a hint! (the smoke demon with the jewel drops it right onto Abu's fez) Ooh Hoo-Hoo-Hoo! Shiny, Shiny! (he kisses the jewel)

Haroud: (looking up at the smoke demons) There's something very strange going on. (the smoke demons started to fuse to get bigger) I don't like the looks of this; they're getting larger.

Abis Mal: Good! They'll be able to steal bigger stuff!

(The gang breaks the door in)

Aladdin: Abis Mal! I Should have known!

Jasmine: I can't believe I was taken in by these bandits! You… dogs!

(Jasmine spears Abis Mal into a pile of coins)

Abis Mal: Get her off me! Get this… goh— Get her off!

(Abu picks up his fez and places it on top of his head)

Jasmine: You used me to further your own twisted scheme!

Abis Mal: Get her off me! Get her off me!

(Aladdin runs over to Jasmine but Haroud trips him over with a jeweled wooden staff. Abu unravels Haroud's turban and covers his face with it. Carpet picks up Abu and takes him away from Haroud.)

Iago: Nice take! You really ought to guard it more carefully. (he take a coin and places it in a bag)

(Genie picks Aladdin up)

Aladdin: Stop Jasmine before she strangles Abis Mal!

(Abis Mal is still struggling to get Jasmine off him until he looks up at the smoke demons who're now fused up and a big cloud of smoke)

Abis Mal: Look!

(A huge smoke demon starts to laugh)

Big Smoke Demon: I am Sootinai!

Genie: Whoa! Not the Sootinai.

Sootinai: Sootinai, Lord of smoke, destroyer of cities, annihilator of worlds.

Iago: You know this guy? You should be a tad more picky choosing your friends.

Abis Mal: All right! You work for me! And I order you to destroy them. (he laughs evilly)

Sootinai: I take no orders from you, your greed was but a tool to release my power. And I have no more need of you. (He looks at Haroud) Or of you!

(he picks up Haroud)

Haroud: Put me down!

(Abis Mal and Haroud are both straining and grunting to break free)

Abis Mal: Put me down!

(Sootinai throws both of them to a wall and after they hit the ground head first, then Sootinai is trying to break open the roof. Genie grabs Aladdin and Jasmine; Abu flies after on Carpet and Iago flies after them.

Abis Mal: (Hugs the treasure) I won't abandon my loot! I won't! I won't!

Haroud: Then enjoy it… in the valley of the dead!

Abis Mal: Valley of the…eeeeeee. Wait, wait up!

(Sootinai finally breaks open the roof. A piece of rubble knocks over a fire stand which sets the building on fire. Abis Mal and Haroud try to exit the building, but they get trapped under the rubble. Sootinai laughs evilly once he's out.)

Abis Mal: (laughs triumphantly) We escaped unharmed! The luck of the bandit is with us!

(The fire gets close to the rubble, and Abis Mal and Haroud escape the building while screaming. Sootinai breaks the building into little pieces and grabs the rubble that's on fire)

Sootinai: Burn more!

(He throws it at some of the buildings which also sets on fire, Sootinai absorbs the smoke with his chest and he gets bigger)

Jasmine: What's happening?

Aladdin: He's getting bigger!

Genie: He's feeding on the fire, the smoke increases his power!

Iago: You seem to know a lot about this guy. You know anything constructive?!

Aladdin: Like how to stop him?

Genie: Don't worry, I can take this clown. (he flies up to Sootinai and transforms into an eagle) I fight for truth, justice, in the Agrabanian way! (Genie starts to blow wind against Sootinai who turns into smoke and surrounds Genie in a smoke tornado while taking all the feathers off Genie, he then falls close to the gang and wakes up dazed) The sky is falling! The sky is falling!

Aladdin: Look out!

(Sootinai throws a fist at the gang but they go inside a building before his fist hits right where the gang was; the gang take a relieving breather before heading inside where it gets darker)

Genie: Sure is dark in here.

Iago: Yeah and there's a funny smell here, too. It smells kind of like… (Genie lights a fire with his finger and the room lights up revealing barrels around the gang) Lamp oil.

All: Lamp oil?!

Aladdin: (shoved Genie's elbow up so that his lit thumb was inside his mouth) One spark and this place will blow like… like…

Iago: Like it's full of barrels of lamp oil!

Genie: Sorry.

(Sootinai keeps absorbing the smoke, he then grabs barrels that are on fire, laughs, and throws them at the building where the gang is inside. The fire is close to the barrels and all of them scream. Carpet swats the fire; Abu throws wet sand on the fire, as does Aladdin)

Aladdin: We've got to put it out before it reaches a barrel!

(Jasmine also throws wet sand on the fire)

Iago: (blows on the fire) Aah!

Genie: (as a firefighter with a fire hose) Coming through! I'll handle this! (turns it on but the fire was being sucked in the fire hose) Hmm, must have had it on reverse.

Jasmine: We've got to get these barrels out of here. There's enough oil to blow up half the city.

Aladdin: Not to mention how that thing would feed off the fire.

Jasmine: Wait… didn't you say you found water out in the desert?

Genie: Oh, yes, you want to hear about it? I turned into a dousing rod…

Jasmine: Not now, Genie! (Genie transforms back to normal) I'm going to need your help. I've got an idea.

Aladdin: But what?

Jasmine: Trust me.

(Next scene:) In a canyon out in the desert. Jasmine breaks the cork with a rock and the lamp oil spills out of the barrel. She rolls the barrel, creating a trail of oil from the stacked barrels to the rocks where Aladdin Abu and Iago are

Jasmine: Come on, Genie, let's go!

Genie: (he takes the barrel and places it on top of the stacked barrels, then all the barrels fall apart) Uhh, neatness doesn't count does it?

(Genie uses his magic and the barrels are stacked up again. Meanwhile, Sootinai is still absorbing smoke from the fires in Agrabah and out in the middle of the desert Abis Mal and Haroud are still running)

Abis Mal: (out of breath) We'll be… safe… once we reach… the canyon.

(Abis Mal and Haroud starts to head there)

Jasmine: It's showtime!

Genie: It is?! Oh I love a good show! What are we gonna see?

(Genie takes out a box of popcorn and shove handfuls inside his mouth)

Aladdin: Genie, she means light the fuse!

Genie: Oh-ho-ho-ho! oh, right. (he tries to light a fire with his thumb) Ohh… must need a new flint. Well, I guess I'll just do it the easy way.

(Genie takes out a dragon, and the dragon breathes out fire to the starting point to the oil trail; the oil catches fire and starts to head for the barrels)

Aladdin: That was the easy way?

(The fire is almost close to the barrels)

Jasmine: Everybody get down!

(They all hide behind the rock. Abis Mal and Haroud get to the canyon and see the stacked barrels)

Abis Mal: Hoo-hoo-hoo-hee! Look! Someone must've stashed stolen merchandise in the canyon.

Haroud: You're jumping to conclusions again.

Abis Mal: Worry wart! Come on! Finders keepers! Hoo-hoo! First we escape the monster, then we stumble onto all this loot.

Haroud: I don't think…

Abis Mal: Talk about the luck of the bandit!

(Abis Mal runs to the barrels)

Haroud: WAIT!

Abis Mal: Ha-Ha! This must be the luckiest day of my life!

(the barrels explode and Aladdin and Jasmine cover their heads for the falling rocks. Sootinai then sees the explosion)

Sootinai: Mmm! More smoke.

(Sootinai heads for the canyon and the people of Agrabah start to put out the fires. Sootinai gets to the canyon)

Jasmine: It's working! He's heading this way!

Aladdin: I hope you know that your doing.

Abis Mal: (climbing rocks and panting) We'll be… safe… once we… get out of the canyon.

Haroud: (climbing right behind Abis mal) Yeah.

(Abis Mal and Haroud gets to the top of the canyon)

Abis Mal: Safe… at.. last.

Sootinai: (laughs) I am more powerful than ever!

(Abis Mal and Haroud scream and they start to climb back down. Haroud keeps climbing down until Abis Mal falls on him, making them both fall. Sootinai keeps absorbing smoke)

Jasmine: Okay Genie, now!

Genie: Roger! (he flies above Sootinai and turns into a dousing rod) Now to find that water again! (Sootinai sees him, grabs Genie's nose and laughs) Unhand me, foul demon! (Sootinai gets ready to throw him) This is not what I meant and you know it! (Sootinai throws him far but he comes right back and goes under Sootinai) Banzai!

(Genie then turns into a jackhammer and drills into the ground. He then pulls himself out. Water comes out from under Sootinai, and as he starts to dissolve the gang starts to cheer)

Jasmine: Good going, Genie!

Genie: And good thinking, Jas!

(Genie turns into an umbrella keeping dry the rest of the gang)

Aladdin: Yeah Jasmine, you really saved the day. Hey, I wonder what happened to Abis Mal and Haroud?

(Abis Mal and Haroud is running from a tidal wave while screaming but the tidal wave covers them and fades leaving them wet, Abis Mal spits water out his mouth)

Jasmine: I guess we've seen the last of Sootinai.

Iago: She frees a giant evil demon that burns down half of Agrabah, and nobody is even mad at her. And yet I'm probably gonna get smacked just for mentioning it! (Carpet kicks him in the back) Oh! (Aladdin and Jasmine smiles at Carpet) Life is so fair. (he faints)

(Final scene:) just like the staring scene we find Haroud traveling the desert carrying a bag over his shoulders, he walks into the hideout where Abis Mal is warming up by the fire.

Abis Mal: It's about time! It's dark and it's cold and I'm lonely!

Haroud: Ohh… (drops the bag) oh there, such a shame that, you were unable to join me in my delightful filth shoveling expedition.

Abis Mal: (looks inside the bag) I-I'm telling you all this gunk that rained down on us must be good for something. (he tests the rubber like substance with his fingers) Maybe we could sell it as lamp oil. You suppose it burns?

Haroud: I don't think that's a good—

Abis Mal: Ohh, don't be such a fraidy-cat!

(Abis Mal throws the handful of rubber like substance into the fire and huge amount of smoke rises from it revealing Sootinai)

Sootinai: I am Sootinai!

(Abis Mal and Haroud screams and bumps into each other before running out of their hideout, Sootinai sees them go and then he looks at the screen and transforms into Genie)

Genie: Like shooting fish in a barrel.

THE END